One Caring Gal... Renee

When I first started blogging in August of 2008, I was furiously searching the web to find other people blogging with metastatic breast cancer. I found Renee from Circling My Head, who not only had metastatic breast cancer; she had been on Taxotere too. Wow two things in common. I was so happy to find her. Someone who was going through what I was going through.

After eight treatments, the Taxotere was really beating me up ....with no end in sight. I asked Renee how many treatments she had. She replied 22 or 24 ... she couldn’t quite remember. I said to myself ... if she could do that many ... so could I. Honestly, she is the reason I got through my 20 treatments at all.

She left me so many inspiring comments on my blog ... often using the most colourful adjectives to describe cancer and its effects. Some days she helped by making me smile, others she helped me cry it all out. She always knew what to say. She gave me encouragement, just that little bit I needed to get through that day or that particular part of my cycle.

I’m very sorry to say, my good friend Renee lost her battle this week ...

Finding my rhythm and getting back to normal

I’ve been back at work for a few weeks now – minus the mini-vacation thanks to the blizzard on the east coast back in February – and I think that I’m finally starting to get back into the rhythm of things. I have a good idea how much time I need to rest in the evenings, how much sleep I need to get, and I have figured out how to pace myself. I still find myself worn down by the end of the week but I have opted to simply use Saturday as my day of rest and its working so far.

 

I am pleased.

 

But I have noticed that the more I force myself to do, the more that needs to be done. For example, if I choose to go out one evening to have some fun I find myself suddenly faced with more invitations to do more things – usually far more than I can handle. Its that push-pull sort of feeling that often causes my moods to swing a bit. I may feel frisky and up to having a drink after work on Monday or Tuesday… but when I’m faced with multiple offers for Friday or Saturday (after being out once or twice), I suddenly feel exhausted and I don’t want to go.

 

This has happened to me several times now. Its unsettling but I think it also makes me feel more “normal” because in my life before breast cancer, I often had to weigh and juggle many events and opportunities (not a bad problem to have really) and I often struggled with saying no to doing things and meeting with people because my schedule was just full.

 

(It feels so arrogant to say that, but I really am not trying to boast or brag at all) Today is a great example. The hospital where I had my treatment is holding a seminar this evening discussing patient care issues that sounds FASCINATING but I also want to get my haircut – made an appointment for this evening – and more importantly, I AM TIRED and I need to finish my laundry. (laughs) So, do I force myself to go to the seminar and possibly learn something new? Do I dash out and get a much needed sprucing up? Or do I head home and just put my head on my pillow – and pray for laundry to be completed another day?

 

So normal. So very very normal. Just another day in a survivor’s world.

Living Well Assignments

I just got back from the Living Well, a support group for cancer patients. The discussions are based on increasing our joy, satisfaction and contentment. And enhance our sense of meaning and purpose in life. Each week we go home with an assignment.

Last week’s assignment was to slow down and savour one task each day that I would normally rush through. Well, I didn’t do so well ... I read the sheet and said I’d do it later ... which I didn’t. 

This week’s assignment is called the ‘three good things’ task. We are to write down three things that went well during that day. The idea is to do this daily for the week. Then we are to reflect on why did this or that good thing happen.

I’m hoping to do better on this assignment than the last...

Last Day Of Pills For This Cycle

Today is the last Xeloda day for this cycle. For the first ten days or so, I have been retaining a bit more fluid. My wrist was sore and achy but now the pressure has diminished and the fluid is down quite a bit. I think I should start tracking my fluid retention from day to day, just to try and make some sense of the rise and fall.

My sinuses still give me occasional grief. Some days I have this sinus pressure which causes sneezing, stuffiness and a runny nose. With spring around the corner, I doubt that will get any better.

I’ve been very good at moisturizing and wrapping my fingers, toes and feet so no skin cracks at all. Tho, if I miss a day ... I sure can tell. It doesn’t take long to see cracks start.

All in all ...a really good cycle.

Shout Out To – The Alberta Battle Of The Bikes

As taken off their website ...

On Sunday, March 14, 1:00-2:00 pm, we are staging Alberta’s first Battle of the Bikes to raise awareness and support for the Enbridge Ride to Conquer Cancer benefiting the Alberta Cancer Foundation. Cyclists will square off in giant spinning classes at Northlands in Edmonton and Eau Claire Mall in downtown Calgary.

Nothing like a little friendly competition …

A Good Time

Yesterday was pretty full day ... in the morning; I had my cancer knitting group. We had a few good laughs when we started talking about Farmville on Facebook. Before you knew it ... I had five new neighbours. We talked about having to feed all the animals and harvest crops. Everyone was asking what level each was on. I said that I kept running out of fuel for my equipment. Then someone said that if I fertilize the neighbour’s crops, I’ll get free fuel... yippy! I’m not sure what makes these Facebook games so much fun but it sure makes for good conversation.

After the knitting group, I came home for a snack and then off to the Second Cup coffee group. We chatted about this and that with cancer bits fading in and out. Two hours later and it was time to go. 

Recently I’ve started taking pictures of my friends that I meet... using my cell phone. That way if I’m feeling a bit down, I just whip out the phone and look at all my good buddies ... all the people that are supporting me through these times. So don’t be surprised if I’m out for coffee with you and ask for a quick snapshot.

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