Genetic test results are in...

I saw the geneticist today to get my results from the test for the BRCA1 and BRCA2 gene. Because my mood has been so shady, today's appointment was the second one -- I skipped the first one last week and I nearly skipped this one. Fear of financial retribution from my insurance company (meaning, I was worried that they would charge me a fee for continuing to miss appointments) was the ultimate motivator to go to the hospital.

My plastic surgeon was very adamant about me getting the testing done because she was concerned (I think) that I wasn't really gung-ho about removing my other breast. With positive test results, my entire course of treatment would have shifted a bit -- including a very strong suggestion to proactively remove my second breast as a matter of caution.

Well, the results show that I am not a carrier of either of the known breast cancer genes. Like most of the women and men in the world struggling with breast cancer... I have no hereditary link to my cancer. Based on the previous consultation with the geneticist, it was more likely than not that I would not have it. I am relieved to be honest.

Having the breast cancer gene makes you a candidate for either breast cancer or ovarian cancer -- and often both cancers. As a matter of treatment, carriers of these genes are sometimes advised to remove their breasts and/or their ovaries in order to defeat the cancer before it strikes.

What defines me as a woman

This past year has taught me many things. One of which is that I cannot be defined by my body parts. Even though I've known for many years that I'm more than what I look like, it is still an adjustment to consider that there are pieces of your body that are wrong and need treatment and/or removal in order to preserve the whole. So, when I say that I am truly relieved that I do not have to face the option of removing any more parts ... at least not based on these test results... I am TRULY relieved. I trusted my gut instinct that (for me) it was an unnecessary step...and the test results proved me to be right in my decision.

In a way, I envy those women who are so confident in their decision to remove their breasts and keep moving forward. Prior to breast cancer, I had not realized just how much my "fabulous boobies" made me feel like me. They are not perfect, they are not all that perky (well, one is now), they have their own set of issues but all of that imperfection makes them mine. I am grateful to have them, reconstructed and all.

genetic testing, saying no to prophylactic mastectomy and more bills

I received a letter the other day from my insurance company. They denied payment for the genetic testing for the breast cancer gene. I was disappointed but only slightly. My disappointment was slight because the one decision that I finally made was to tell my surgeon that it didn't matter whether I had the breast cancer gene or not, I did not want to have a prophylactic mastectomy.

Making that choice to keep my breast was a hard one. And it was one where I really questioned my own stubbornness and wondered why I was so attached to anything that had the potential to kill me down the line. Since removing the breast could not guarantee not having cancer recur, I had to follow my gut. Removing my breast on the chance that cancer could come to that breast just wasn't something that ever felt right in my spirit. So, I finally said no.  But it was hard. And I do understand why a lot of women opt to have this surgery done. The scare with my mammogram the other week did make me pause and really reflect about the possibility of doing this dance again. In the end, I decided to keep my breast and say no to the surgery.

Sadly, I said no after making the decision to have the genetic testing and after having my blood drawn for the procedure. I wish I had made the decision before that. Could have saved myself some money. But, I will have to pay this bill when it arrives because I asked for it.

I received a call the other day that my results are in for the genetic test. (rolling eyes) I truly do NOT want to even know. Crazy sounding I know, but I don't. I have to make an appointment to find out the results. And figure out how to pay for this expensive test. With the cost of this test, I will have spent at least ten thousand dollars out of my own pocket during this breast cancer journey. I think if I add the costs of money spent at the drugstore for this, that and the other thing -- it may add on another couple thousand to the costs.

Once I speak with the geneticist, I can report whether I have the breast cancer gene(s) and how that information will affect my treatment going forward. One thing I know... I will be sharing the results with my family so that they can be armed with some knowledge that will help them in the future.