Friday, October 23, 2009

not only do I have breast cancer...but I might die BROKE too?



I am watching our First Lady on C-Span acknowledging breast cancer awareness month and speaking out about health care. She is amazing. But watching her and the other survivors who have spoken is scaring me and making me wonder why did I, why do I fight so hard for my life? Even if I survive breast cancer – which I am doing right now – I could lose everything financially trying to stay alive.

Right now, I have health insurance…wonderful health insurance that covers so much and has allowed me to receive really fabulous treatment for my cancer. But…what if I leave this job, or lose this job? My options for healthcare insurance are pretty low. Breast cancer is a pre-existing condition that, right now, many insurance companies will not cover.

Fear of recurrence is real. I will be dealing with breast cancer in some way, for the rest of my life. If I were to lose my health insurance, how would I manage my treatments? Right now, each time I sit down for chemotherapy…it costs my insurance company over $5,000. That is a discounted rate from what the hospital charges for chemotherapy. One of the patients at my cancer center pays out of pocket and it costs him $16,000 for each cycle of chemotherapy. I have no idea how much radiation costs per dosage – but considering that I was in radiation therapy for two months, I’m sure it was at least $20,000 if not more. Don’t forget all of the surgeries and incidental trips to the hospital…it adds up.

I know that after a year of treatment and surgeries…the cost is astronomical. And like I said, I have good health insurance. What happens if I lose it? What happens if I want to move my career in a different direction? Where do I turn? I don’t own anything now, so it’s not like I could sell my investment properties and use that money to keep my life going.

I feel like I’ve been hit in the head with a ton of bricks. Just a couple of days ago, I was chatting with a young man I met in Las Vegas at a blogging conference. We were discussing fundraising ideas for breast cancer survivors and patients utilizing his blog and my blog and our collective influence in our cities. We discussed trying to raise half a million dollars to aid in the fight against breast cancer. I thought it was a ridiculously high number but a worthy goal and I thought – at the time – that we could do a lot of good with that much money. But right now, I’m realizing that $500,000 is NOTHING…when it comes to the astronomical costs of treating breast cancer. It’s the equivalent of dropping a brick into the ocean.

ONE woman could use that much money to fight this disease, maybe two, depending on the stage of their cancer when found.

What the hell is really going on?

Am I fighting for my life…trying to maintain my cheery disposition, my sexy swagger, only to end up destitute and still succumbing to cancer in the end? Am I fighting for my life really or just delaying the inevitable? Is the only way out of this death?

A funeral would cost my family significantly less money than my remaining treatments. I’m not trying to be funny and I’m not suggesting suicide. Not at all. Passing health care reform HAS to become a reality. To do otherwise is to effectively doom the 2 million women living with breast cancer right now – and the 250,000 who will be diagnosed every year following -- to a life of poverty, bankruptcy, fear and ultimately a horrible end to an otherwise beautiful life.

Can we afford to lose 2 million women – mothers, daughters, sisters, cousins, aunts, grandmothers, wives, friends, neighbors, colleagues, teachers, lawyers, police officers, factory workers, secretaries, postal carriers, doctors – because they were born women and maybe had a genetic disposition for a disease we can’t cure?

Being a woman is a risk factor for breast cancer.


Think about that for a second.

The fact that you were born (you had nothing to do with that), and you were born female (you had nothing to do with that) …puts you at risk for getting breast cancer. And if, by some freakish roll of the dice, you are one of the 1 in 8 women who gets breast cancer – your whole life becomes enslaved to a system of treatments that you need to survive but may not be able to afford.

Where is the fairness in that? Why do I have a bullet on my back because I’m a woman with breast cancer? Why … just why? Where is the exit for this ride? I want to get off. I did not sign up for this.

All I wanted to do was to live a quiet life, find a good man and get married…have a few kids and maybe write a few books. Laugh a little, drink a little, travel a bit – that’s what being a grown-up meant to me. Now, I don’t know that any of that is possible – well, the books will still be written – but the rest seems to be a distant dream that I may not be able to make come true.

Breast cancer ruins relationships. It ruins your emotional state. It ruins your body. It changes your abilities. Life is just a smidge more difficult when you’re constantly worrying that your life threatening illness might come back and finish what it started. And now, on top of all that…breast cancer has the nerve, the absolute audacity to ruin your financial goals too.


Gimme a d*mn break!

Jumping on my political high-horse: Contact your congressional representative and tell them that we need health care reform not now, but RIGHT NOW.

Think of those 2 million women who simply were born…and ended up struggling with a disease we can’t cure yet.


Right now.  We need a cure and we need health care reform.
http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2009/10/michelle-obama-pushes-health-care-reform.html#

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