I took off my bandages this morning (well, this afternoon actually) and took a look at my new breasts. I'll be honest. So far, I'm not really a fan.
I guess they look alright but they look mighty small to me. I think that I may be lucky to have a C/D cup now. That is a drastic difference from the H cup I had before. I wasn't prepared for this at all. So, again, I'm having a paradigm shift about my body. You would think I would be pretty accustomed to this roller coaster ride of change... but I am not.
I have realized something though. Pain is relative. The pain I'm feeling right now is nothing compared to the pain of the mastectomy. And that pain was really nothing compared to the pain of the reconstruction surgery. Its a little more painful that the implant/removal of my mediport. But generally speaking, I'm good. I'll be up and around in no time.
One thing I am struggling with is my mouth and throat. They gave me a breathing tube during surgery and my throat is killing me now. Along with the roof of my mouth. Can't quite understand why but eh... whatever.
All of this is small stuff. In the grand scheme of things. Two years ago, had I not done that self-exam and felt a lump, I would have been on a collision course with an early death. But that one act changed the trajectory of my life and now things are different.
As long as I keep reminding myself of that fact, all the other changes make sense.
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