...aaahhhh... its Christmas time again!

I seem to be measuring time by how many so-and-so's I've experienced since my diagnosis. This is the third Christmas since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The first Christmas was just a few months after my diagnosis... at the end of my chemotherapy (and the beginning of the end of my relationship). I really can't remember right now how I felt about Christmas in 2008. I'm sure I was sad and feeling pitiful... but unless I go back in the blog (or my journal) to read what I wrote about that time, there's just nothing to draw from in my mind.

2009 was a little different though. I was a year into my treatment -- the end was becoming visible. I had just had my reconstruction surgery the month before and I was looking less like a cancer patient and more like a real girl. (laughs) I can remember being so excited to be alive and able to eat and taste food... those little things that I took for granted before breast cancer. Christmas was nice... a break from being sick.

This year, 2010... I don't know what I'm feeling. I'm all over the place. One day, I'm giddy and feeling special. The next day, I'm somber and wondering why it isn't over already. (shrug) Its weird and bizarre. I am still transitioning to life after breast cancer. I still feel fragile even though I know that I'm not hardly frail anymore. I am frustrated with the progress to find a new job and I am truly longing for warm sunny skies and ocean waves lapping at my toes... I can't wait for spring to hurry up this way again.

One thing is for sure... I am here and I am happy and thrilled about that. Life isn't perfect for me, but it is joyous and filled with opportunities to spend time with people I love and have some giggles.

How are you spending your Christmas season?