Is sexting bringing sexy back?

Okay... I was a moderately vain girl before breast cancer. I mean, my head wasn't so large that I believed that every man wanted me. I knew that was fallacy. However, I did feel that the men who did find me attractive... found me VERY attractive. I liked that feeling -- even if i didn't always know how to work with it or handle it. Being desired is a fantastic feeling, right?

So, after going through all this disfiguring, yet life saving, breast cancer treatment it is fair to say that I woke up after each surgery feeling some kind of way about the changes in my body. As time goes on and I see the changes and I notice the way that I react to the changes, I've come to realize that my vanity is coming back. Before my mastectomy, I took a few pictures of myself naked because I wanted to remember what my body looked like before I was disfigured for life. (Yes, I can be very melodramatic sometimes)  I had no intention of ever sharing those pictures with anyone -- I mean, I will be honest, I wasn't THRILLED with my pre-cancer body. I was lumpy and bumpy in all the wrong places and I could point out to you, with my eyes closed, all the parts of me that needed fixing. But still, it was my body. I was used to it and for all reasonable purposes, I did like it. I didn't relish the thought of losing pieces of it but of course, I had to let those thoughts go. The breast had to go. And when it went, it took a big chunk of my self-esteem with it. It seemed deeply unfair that I had to sacrifice so much to save my life.

The next big blow to my self-esteem came from the horrible effects of radiation therapy. Oh my gawd. They warned me that I would look different, that the radiation treatment would burn me and scar me. But dang. I had no idea that the scarring would be so serious. I have walked around with this ridiculous square of blackened skin on my chest for almost two years now. And the final straw... was the scarring across my chest, my abdomen and my hips from my reconstruction surgery. Yes, I was excited to have my noobie (new boobie) but I looked patched together like Frankenstein. I had these horrible scars that zipped around my noobie... and skated around my reduced breast... and then zig-zagged from hip to hip across my lower abdomen. The finished look was far from flattering. At least to me. And all of these surgeries happened within the span of one year. I can tell you now... I was horrified at the way that I looked under my clothes.

Well, now that it has been over a year since my last procedure and my scars are slowly (and I do mean SLOWLY) fading and lightening up... I have found the courage to look at myself in the mirror and just take in the way that I look. I figured that it would be difficult to share my body with a man if I could not look at it myself. So, over the last couple of years, I've tasked myself with regularly just staring at my whole body in the full length mirror in my bathroom.

In the beginning, I couldn't look at myself everyday. It was just too much, too jarring. I would burst into tears and then hide from myself whenever I got dressed or stepped out of the tub or shower. But, like I said, I'm still healing. The vitamin E has been helping my scars to fade and even out. The Shea butter has been working to give my skin back some of its elasticity (that chemo is a beast on your skin too).

A few weeks ago, I got a new cellphone. It is a fancy Droid phone and it is absolutely fantastic. I didn't realize how much I was missing out on with my old phone but now I know. Smart phones are simply incredible. And guess what? They have cameras. (wink) You can take a picture.  Of yourself even. (wow!)  I have started to do that now and then. Ha, ha. Scandalous, yes... I know. But I do.

About a year ago (maybe longer) I was contacted by a photographer who stumbled onto my blog. He wanted to take boudoir pictures of me as a part of a project he was working on. He had taken a few pictures with other survivors and offered me a chance to have my own set of sexy pictures. Before cancer, I fantasized about taking sexy pictures of myself but I never mustered up the courage to do it. When the offer came, I accepted immediately... and then after thinking about it... I flaked. I couldn't do it. I wanted the pictures but I didn't want a stranger to take pictures of my body. I still didn't want to look at myself, I certainly wasn't ready for someone who looked at beautiful models all the time, to then look at my disfigured shell and try to make it look sexy. I just didn't think that I had sexy in me. Not at that level anyway.

Back to my new phone. I'm more comfortable now with looking at my naked body and one day as I was getting out of the shower I realized that my phone was actually with me in the bathroom... and before I knew it, SNAP! I had taken a picture of myself. I snapped a few more then scurried to my room to shut the door and get dressed. But I looked at those pictures for quite some time. Eventually, I got to a point where it didn't bother me to look at myself naked. Since that day, I've taken a lot of pictures of myself... various poses... highlighting different parts of me and whatnot. I have to tell you... it is LIBERATING as hell to look at yourself and finally be able to say (and believe)... I look good.

I look good. I really... look good. The scars no longer scare me. I do hate the way that my skin is discolored from the radiation but I love my port removal scar. I don't particularly care for the way that I have a scar that looks like a c-section scar (since I don't have children) and yet... I like my strangely Barbie-esque belly. I like myself. And (gulp, confession time) I've gotten a few compliments too.

What's that feeling? Desire? I am... gasp... clutch your pearls... a desirable woman AFTER breast cancer? Stop the presses! Really?

Yes. Really. I am desirable and sexy and beautiful and attractive and all of that goes far deeper than my nakedness or my scars. It goes directly to the heart of me.

You have just read the confessions of a breast cancer survivor sexter.

I am not ashamed of what I've done. Nor am I afraid to look at my body or to show it off either. That doesn't mean that I've lost all of my conservativeness and will begin to parade around naked. No. I am still the same girl who gets dressed behind closed doors and covers things up probably more than I have to. But now I am very confident that my body -- with its scars and shades and lumps -- is really a beautiful thing. And that revelation has made everything worthwhile.

I am sexy.  Take THAT! breast cancer.

Wearing a Hat Can Cause Hair Loss

Health-Net: There is a myth that people who often wear a hat can cause hair loss and eventually lead to baldness?

Many myths and facts circulating in the community about the causes of hair loss and wearing a hat is a controversial one.

The truth about whether a hat will cause baldness from time to time depending on how often you wear a hat, climate, and how tight headgear hair treatments performed.

One of the reasons why many people believe that the cap can cause hair loss is because many people who go bald like wearing a hat to cover up the fact that her hair loss.

Wearing a hat is too long and too tight on a hot and humid climate can contribute to the excretion and accumulation of sebum and oil on the hair.

Prior is a Waxy substance secreted by sebaceous glands in the skin to the hair follicle. Sebum REACT cans with hardened sebum cholesterol plaque That disrupts the circulation of oxygen and blood to hair follicles That are essential for normal hair follicle growth.

For the short term and certainly wash your hair regularly then this condition should not cause hair loss. Unfortunately, for some people this condition is left and do not care about whether a cap that is used is very dirty or not, so that ultimately contribute to baldness.

And hats can actually contribute positively by blocking harmful sun exposure during the day, which prevent sunburn and cause the hair follicles become too hot and fall off easily.

If you still want to wearing a hat, there are some precautions that hair is not easily fall out, among others:

• Be sure to wash your hair regularly to stop the buildup of bacteria, oil or in the scalp.
• Regularly wash the hat or head covering to kill bacteria and remove excess oil.
• Make sure you use a hat or head covering That Is loose so as not to impedes the flow of blood and oxygen circulation to the hair follicle.

Wearing a Hat Can Cause Hair Loss

Health-Net: There is a myth that people who often wear a hat can cause hair loss and eventually lead to baldness?

Many myths and facts circulating in the community about the causes of hair loss and wearing a hat is a controversial one.

The truth about whether a hat will cause baldness from time to time depending on how often you wear a hat, climate, and how tight headgear hair treatments performed.

One of the reasons why many people believe that the cap can cause hair loss is because many people who go bald like wearing a hat to cover up the fact that her hair loss.

Wearing a hat is too long and too tight on a hot and humid climate can contribute to the excretion and accumulation of sebum and oil on the hair.

Prior is a Waxy substance secreted by sebaceous glands in the skin to the hair follicle. Sebum REACT cans with hardened sebum cholesterol plaque That disrupts the circulation of oxygen and blood to hair follicles That are essential for normal hair follicle growth.

For the short term and certainly wash your hair regularly then this condition should not cause hair loss. Unfortunately, for some people this condition is left and do not care about whether a cap that is used is very dirty or not, so that ultimately contribute to baldness.

And hats can actually contribute positively by blocking harmful sun exposure during the day, which prevent sunburn and cause the hair follicles become too hot and fall off easily.

If you still want to wearing a hat, there are some precautions that hair is not easily fall out, among others:

• Be sure to wash your hair regularly to stop the buildup of bacteria, oil or in the scalp.
• Regularly wash the hat or head covering to kill bacteria and remove excess oil.
• Make sure you use a hat or head covering That Is loose so as not to impedes the flow of blood and oxygen circulation to the hair follicle.

Jogging is Good for Your Heart

Health-Net: Exercise is part of a healthy lifestyle. Large selection of exercise, start a cheap, such as brisk walking, to train in the gym prestigious body. However, before you exercise, of course must consider the condition of the body first.

one sport that could do a lot of people are jogging. Jogging is a physically active sport such as small run with the speed of 6-7 miles per hour. Jogging activity can be done alone or together with friends and family to add to the spirit.

Of course you have to use running shoes good for feet. Because of the reduced impact of rubber elasticity is less good for health.

For people who have problems with knee pain, exercise is also good jog done. But, says Michael, jogging should be done with proper rules, namely the interval 2.5 minutes brisk walking, then jogging a half minutes, and repeated constantly to do it regularly.

No need to fill out a lot of pocket because it can be done anywhere. If you want to do jogging in the room, should in large areas. Jogging in a grassy field is better because it is not hard compared to knee collision on the pavement.

Jogging is good for the heart, in addition to brisk walking. Because the two sports are more moving parts of the thigh and leg. Running is not recommended because it will burden the heart. By moving the thigh and leg, making the heart load is reduced.

Narrowing of blood vessels in the feet and legs thanks to the jog becomes widened. Covered by the fat into the open, and there is formation of new blood vessels, so blood flow or cardiac performance to be smooth.

Heart enlargement may appear in excessive exercise. Cardiac enlargement is often not show any meaningful even though the complaint. If you are an active lifestyle and regular exercise are still no problem. This is problematic if in the future, you stop exercising altogether. As a result, an enlarged heart would give a problem.

Therefore, before starting any exercise, Michael asks that you calculate the pulse in the hand or neck. The heart weighed down or not, still must be monitored, namely with the regularity of the pulse. And heart rate monitol=false

Jogging is Good for Your Heart

Health-Net: Exercise is part of a healthy lifestyle. Large selection of exercise, start a cheap, such as brisk walking, to train in the gym prestigious body. However, before you exercise, of course must consider the condition of the body first.

one sport that could do a lot of people are jogging. Jogging is a physically active sport such as small run with the speed of 6-7 miles per hour. Jogging activity can be done alone or together with friends and family to add to the spirit.

Of course you have to use running shoes good for feet. Because of the reduced impact of rubber elasticity is less good for health.

For people who have problems with knee pain, exercise is also good jog done. But, says Michael, jogging should be done with proper rules, namely the interval 2.5 minutes brisk walking, then jogging a half minutes, and repeated constantly to do it regularly.

No need to fill out a lot of pocket because it can be done anywhere. If you want to do jogging in the room, should in large areas. Jogging in a grassy field is better because it is not hard compared to knee collision on the pavement.

Jogging is good for the heart, in addition to brisk walking. Because the two sports are more moving parts of the thigh and leg. Running is not recommended because it will burden the heart. By moving the thigh and leg, making the heart load is reduced.

Narrowing of blood vessels in the feet and legs thanks to the jog becomes widened. Covered by the fat into the open, and there is formation of new blood vessels, so blood flow or cardiac performance to be smooth.

Heart enlargement may appear in excessive exercise. Cardiac enlargement is often not show any meaningful even though the complaint. If you are an active lifestyle and regular exercise are still no problem. This is problematic if in the future, you stop exercising altogether. As a result, an enlarged heart would give a problem.

Therefore, before starting any exercise, Michael asks that you calculate the pulse in the hand or neck. The heart weighed down or not, still must be monitored, namely with the regularity of the pulse. And heart rate monitol=false

4 Causes of Knee Pain

Health-Net: Knee is a bone in his foot buffer That Is needed for Humans to undergo activity. For it is working very hard knee, Should he support the body every day to keep your body to balance. Because the thing That makes knee usually feels pain Pls you begin to relax.

Here are some causes of Knee Pain:

Body weight excessive
Knee support the overall functioning of the body weight. So it's important to keep weight to keep it under normal circumstances. In fact, obese people have a disproportionate risk of osteoarthritis because, overweight accelerate cartilage destruction. Decrease or maintain body weight in normal circumstances is one way to avoid knee pain.

Lack of exercise
Regular exercise is important to maintain the strength of the knee. Without exercise, muscles will weaken, bones, tendons, ligaments, and joints are also vulnerable to shifts that trigger pain.

You can do moderate exercise like running or walking to maintain the health of the knee. As an alternative, also do water sports like swimming on a regular basis.

Physical activity excessive
Although exercise is important for the health of the knee, but do not do it to excess. Do it in moderation. If you're having pain after exercising, you should refrain for a while. To avoid pain after exercise, always warm up and cool down for about 5 to 10 minutes.

Shoes are not comfortable
Make sure your shoes comfortable and able to support the foot properly. This is very important because if the shoe was not able to sustain well, will cause pain in the feet and knees.

4 Causes of Knee Pain

Health-Net: Knee is a bone in his foot buffer That Is needed for Humans to undergo activity. For it is working very hard knee, Should he support the body every day to keep your body to balance. Because the thing That makes knee usually feels pain Pls you begin to relax.

Here are some causes of Knee Pain:

Body weight excessive
Knee support the overall functioning of the body weight. So it's important to keep weight to keep it under normal circumstances. In fact, obese people have a disproportionate risk of osteoarthritis because, overweight accelerate cartilage destruction. Decrease or maintain body weight in normal circumstances is one way to avoid knee pain.

Lack of exercise
Regular exercise is important to maintain the strength of the knee. Without exercise, muscles will weaken, bones, tendons, ligaments, and joints are also vulnerable to shifts that trigger pain.

You can do moderate exercise like running or walking to maintain the health of the knee. As an alternative, also do water sports like swimming on a regular basis.

Physical activity excessive
Although exercise is important for the health of the knee, but do not do it to excess. Do it in moderation. If you're having pain after exercising, you should refrain for a while. To avoid pain after exercise, always warm up and cool down for about 5 to 10 minutes.

Shoes are not comfortable
Make sure your shoes comfortable and able to support the foot properly. This is very important because if the shoe was not able to sustain well, will cause pain in the feet and knees.

Celebrating birthdays after breast cancer

Well, another May 1st is heading my way and that means another birthday for me. I have been excited and ready to celebrate for weeks now. And now that its here... its starting to feel anti-climatic and a little sad.

I am here. A full year has passed with no cancer treatment. No unusual pains. No bad test results. Just another year. I feel like I've let myself down a little bit though. Life after breast cancer is supposed to feel amazing, right? I'm supposed to feel like superwoman. Can do girl. And yet... I just feel like me. This new me. With constant back pains and too many hangovers. With a fear of love and a correlating fear of being alone too. This new me who is a constant contradiction of everything. I feel fine but I'm constantly in a state of anxiety because one day I may not be fine.

Guess what?... its my birthday. I feel a little guilt (okay... a lot of guilt) because I have many friends who have been dealing with recurrences of their cancer this year. And friends who lost their fight with their cancer. And yet... I'm here. Feeling like I'm living in limbo. When will it be my turn to deal with this demon again? And what if it doesn't? Then what makes me so special that I don't have to fight the monster twice?

But... like I said.. its my birthday. I know that I am blessed. I am actually quite peaceful and happy about my life in general. My Celtics are doing great things on the basketball court. I am enjoying raising money for the Race for the Cure (you can make a donation here:  http://globalrace.info-komen.org/goto/nicolemclean). I am dating and getting out of the house a lot. I can honestly say that I am happy.

I can now look at my naked body now and not cringe at my scars but just look at myself as a woman and be ok. And at the end of the day... I am a woman. A breast cancer survivor. Taking no days for granted and enjoying every moment that I can.

Happy birthday to me. :)

High Emotions Can Cause Body Odor

Health-Net: Self confidence is much influenced by things that are emotional and feeling, both from themselves and external factors.

In addition, stress, emotion, humidity, heat, light and movement can cause the appearance of perspiration. The other emotions, such as laughing and crying, also cause emotional sweat. Excessive sweating coupled with humid conditions in the folds of the body that preferred by the bacteria will make the unpleasant odor that affects confidence.

Sweating can not be avoided by everyone, especially it is a sign of a healthy body. However, the sweat that causes odor will actually hurt our performance. If reducing the odor of sweat, women should avoid fibrous food.

Therefore, this fiber foods will make the metabolism in the stomach became worse and eventually led to the burning smell bad. "Meat and food that has a sharp smell, like garlic, onions, and onions, will affect the unpleasant odor of sweat that comes out of the body. To reduce the smell of sweat that, you have a lot to consume all the fruits and vegetables.

Please also be aware that too much sweat that comes out could indicate a person suffering from a disease. To that end, Hannah went on, usually the doctor will perform a search history, if there is no indication of systemic disorders. After that, proceed with the physical testing laboratory in accordance with the abnormalities that occur, whether in the thyroid gland or in the heart.

One source of emotional appearance of excessive sweat is real conflict we experience ordinary daily. Conflicts in everyday life can not be avoided, especially in the world that demands professionalism, such as offices.

High Emotions Can Cause Body Odor

Health-Net: Self confidence is much influenced by things that are emotional and feeling, both from themselves and external factors.

In addition, stress, emotion, humidity, heat, light and movement can cause the appearance of perspiration. The other emotions, such as laughing and crying, also cause emotional sweat. Excessive sweating coupled with humid conditions in the folds of the body that preferred by the bacteria will make the unpleasant odor that affects confidence.

Sweating can not be avoided by everyone, especially it is a sign of a healthy body. However, the sweat that causes odor will actually hurt our performance. If reducing the odor of sweat, women should avoid fibrous food.

Therefore, this fiber foods will make the metabolism in the stomach became worse and eventually led to the burning smell bad. "Meat and food that has a sharp smell, like garlic, onions, and onions, will affect the unpleasant odor of sweat that comes out of the body. To reduce the smell of sweat that, you have a lot to consume all the fruits and vegetables.

Please also be aware that too much sweat that comes out could indicate a person suffering from a disease. To that end, Hannah went on, usually the doctor will perform a search history, if there is no indication of systemic disorders. After that, proceed with the physical testing laboratory in accordance with the abnormalities that occur, whether in the thyroid gland or in the heart.

One source of emotional appearance of excessive sweat is real conflict we experience ordinary daily. Conflicts in everyday life can not be avoided, especially in the world that demands professionalism, such as offices.

7 Alternatives Nutrition If You Do not Like Vegetables

Health-Net: Are you including the type of person who does not like vegetables? Rather than vitamin and mineral levels are not met, you can do 7 alternatives nutrition if you do not like vegetables.

In order to meet the dose of a diet balanced, vegetables indeed become one of the mandatory items that need to be included in your daily menu. However, what happens when these critical nutrients not included in the list of your favorite cuisine? Here are some tips you can try to meet your daily nutrition.

Add vegetables to your favorite dish

Do you love lasagna? Add chopped spinach is boiled and stir fried with broccoli or carrots. If you like macaroni and cheese, sauté some vegetables such as asparagus, broccoli, mushrooms, and tomatoes with olive oil. Add a pinch of oregano or tomato sauce and macaroni and cheese was ready to eat. Enjoy with warm omelet dish.

Paste the vegetables in the salad

Enter all the veggies you like in a salad bowl. There are many vegetables that can be used as a tasty salad dishes, including onion, radish, grated carrot, cucumber, cauliflower, and so forth. The best way to serve it is with thin slices so that seep into the seasonings and easy to enjoy.

Combine with other vegetables

Some vegetables can be combined with other vegetables to give different flavors. So, add the vegetables with tomatoes or other vegetables and put sauce on it for its evocative.

Eating raw vegetables

Raw vegetables taste lighter and crispier texture. Serve with garlic sauce (use broth and add cream onion low fat) or a tomato sauce given oregano, salt, pepper and olive oil.

Make night snack

Enter the vegetables in the sandwich you make. Add grated cheese and chopped vegetables such as basil, cabbage and tomatoes.

Make a vegetable juice

If you are reluctant to mix their own juice, just buy canned juice available in supermarkets. Or if you have time, make carrot juice mixed with mango or orange.

Make vegetables roasted

Roast some veggies and add a pinch of your favorite flavor with a sprinkling of salt and pepper. Be sure to add olive oil before grilling. Then give the pieces of mushroom or eggplant and bake until done.

7 Alternatives Nutrition If You Do not Like Vegetables

Health-Net: Are you including the type of person who does not like vegetables? Rather than vitamin and mineral levels are not met, you can do 7 alternatives nutrition if you do not like vegetables.

In order to meet the dose of a diet balanced, vegetables indeed become one of the mandatory items that need to be included in your daily menu. However, what happens when these critical nutrients not included in the list of your favorite cuisine? Here are some tips you can try to meet your daily nutrition.

Add vegetables to your favorite dish

Do you love lasagna? Add chopped spinach is boiled and stir fried with broccoli or carrots. If you like macaroni and cheese, sauté some vegetables such as asparagus, broccoli, mushrooms, and tomatoes with olive oil. Add a pinch of oregano or tomato sauce and macaroni and cheese was ready to eat. Enjoy with warm omelet dish.

Paste the vegetables in the salad

Enter all the veggies you like in a salad bowl. There are many vegetables that can be used as a tasty salad dishes, including onion, radish, grated carrot, cucumber, cauliflower, and so forth. The best way to serve it is with thin slices so that seep into the seasonings and easy to enjoy.

Combine with other vegetables

Some vegetables can be combined with other vegetables to give different flavors. So, add the vegetables with tomatoes or other vegetables and put sauce on it for its evocative.

Eating raw vegetables

Raw vegetables taste lighter and crispier texture. Serve with garlic sauce (use broth and add cream onion low fat) or a tomato sauce given oregano, salt, pepper and olive oil.

Make night snack

Enter the vegetables in the sandwich you make. Add grated cheese and chopped vegetables such as basil, cabbage and tomatoes.

Make a vegetable juice

If you are reluctant to mix their own juice, just buy canned juice available in supermarkets. Or if you have time, make carrot juice mixed with mango or orange.

Make vegetables roasted

Roast some veggies and add a pinch of your favorite flavor with a sprinkling of salt and pepper. Be sure to add olive oil before grilling. Then give the pieces of mushroom or eggplant and bake until done.

Heart Attacks in the Morning It's More Deadly

Health-Net: Risk of death is always high when there was a heart attack. But if it happens in the morning, heart attacks 20 percent higher risk of death compared to trigger heart attacks that occur at other times throughout the day.

Various earlier studies did show that heart attacks are more common in the morning. Even so, no one has compared the risk of death from heart attacks that occur at certain times, including in the morning.

Recently, researchers from the National Center of Cardiovascular Disease in Spain managed to link the risk of death with the timing of a heart attack. Heart attacks that occur between the hours of 6 am until noon most deadly than at any other time.

Increased risk of death in heart attack that occurred in the morning is quite high, namely seitar 20 percent. Allegedly, the trigger is hormonal and metabolic systems are experiencing increased activity on the morning after waking.

Increased blood pressure in the morning is also believed to also influence although this opinion is controversial. For a recent study at Harvard Medical School shows, the human biological clock makes the blood pressure dropped to the lowest point in the morning.

The study involved 811 heart attack patients treated in various hospitals in the city of Madrid, between the years 2003-2009. Quoted from Dailymail on Friday April 29, 2011, most participants experienced myocardial infarction, ie heart attack that triggered a prolonged blockage of blood vessels.

In accordance with previous studies, most of the 269 participants had a heart attack between 6 am to noon. The rest, 240 people experienced between mid day until 6 pm, 161 between 6 pm to midnight and 141 between midnight and 6 am.

Heart Attacks in the Morning It's More Deadly

Health-Net: Risk of death is always high when there was a heart attack. But if it happens in the morning, heart attacks 20 percent higher risk of death compared to trigger heart attacks that occur at other times throughout the day.

Various earlier studies did show that heart attacks are more common in the morning. Even so, no one has compared the risk of death from heart attacks that occur at certain times, including in the morning.

Recently, researchers from the National Center of Cardiovascular Disease in Spain managed to link the risk of death with the timing of a heart attack. Heart attacks that occur between the hours of 6 am until noon most deadly than at any other time.

Increased risk of death in heart attack that occurred in the morning is quite high, namely seitar 20 percent. Allegedly, the trigger is hormonal and metabolic systems are experiencing increased activity on the morning after waking.

Increased blood pressure in the morning is also believed to also influence although this opinion is controversial. For a recent study at Harvard Medical School shows, the human biological clock makes the blood pressure dropped to the lowest point in the morning.

The study involved 811 heart attack patients treated in various hospitals in the city of Madrid, between the years 2003-2009. Quoted from Dailymail on Friday April 29, 2011, most participants experienced myocardial infarction, ie heart attack that triggered a prolonged blockage of blood vessels.

In accordance with previous studies, most of the 269 participants had a heart attack between 6 am to noon. The rest, 240 people experienced between mid day until 6 pm, 161 between 6 pm to midnight and 141 between midnight and 6 am.

The American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life of Boston

Hope burns bright. The light from the luminaria bags at Relay For Life reminds us of those we lost and inspires us to find a cure for this disease. Make a difference in the fight against cancer by joining the Relay For Life of Boston. Form a team and come participate in this moving and life-changing overnight event that celebrates cancer survivors, remembers loved ones lost and fights back against a disease that takes too much.

What:
The American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life of Boston

Where:
Moakley Park
William J. Day Blvd.
South Boston, MA

When:
Friday, June 17 at 7p.m.—Saturday, June 18 at 7a.m.

Cause:
Cancer research; programs and services for cancer patients and their families.

Cost:
$10 registration fee

Other Info:
Relay For Life is a fundraiser and we ask that team members raise what money they can for the fight against cancer. There is no fundraising minimum and all are invited to attend. For more information or to sign-up, please visit www.relayforlife.org/BostonMA or contact Lesley Whiting at (781) 314-2683 or lesley.whiting@cancer.org.

Learning to forgive and move on

I like to pride myself on the belief that my time in therapy helped me to become a more grounded woman. I know that emotions are neither good nor bad and that they don't have to be suppressed in order for me to survive. There was a time when I felt that showing emotions or feeling emotions was too difficult and I would stuff them down and pretend I felt okay until I really believed that I felt ok.

It worked for awhile. But, it didn't work forever. I learned in therapy that it is okay for me to feel pain, to be sad, to be happy, to be proud... all of that. It is entirely acceptable because I am human and what makes me human is that I can feel and express emotions.

One area that I still require work in is romantic relationships. I'm not good at expressing myself. It frustrates me to no end that I am so hard on myself and so timid when it comes to letting a man that I love and care for know that I love and care for him. It also frustrates me that I often feel unworthy of telling someone that I love and am in relationship with that they've hurt me in some way... What tends to happen is that I stuff away the feelings of pain and move on as though I was never hurt by them. I shrug it off. I keep it moving. And while that keeps me moving... it isn't healthy and it doesn't actually allow me to progress as much or as fast as I tend to think it does.

In the course of my research on breast cancer issues, I've run across a few articles that discuss the possibility of the suppression of your emotions leading to or contributing to having breast cancer. It seems that it was a prevailing thought in the 1500's in China and it hasn't completely left the consideration of healing for this illness for some in Chinese medicine. There haven't been many (or any) studies conducted on this theory lately but since I do believe that in a lot of ways the ancient ways of looking at life are still applicable... I've given this idea a lot of thought over the two and a half years since my diagnosis. Emotional issues, stress and anxiety do a lot of harm to your immune system and to your overall health. So, while it may seem a little spacey to think that the way you handle or mis-handle your emotions could affect your probability to get cancer... I do believe that there is some validity to remaining very open and honest with yourself and your emotions.

I've been dating since college (I couldn't really date in high school) and while I've gotten better at it, there were a lot of years when I simply had no damn idea what I was doing. I allowed my fear of being alone or being unlovable to dictate what I dealt with in relationships. I was scared of being alone and it showed. I'm telling you all of this because I was contacted by an old boyfriend yesterday and it totally blew my mind. I have not seen or talked to this guy in probably 15 years.  Our relationship ended really badly. And I was deeply hurt when we broke up. It took me a long time to put that relationship behind me and I felt that I had until he contacted me. Once again, Facebook is a wonder. Just seeing his name caused me some anxiety. And while we chatted for about 20 minutes or so... I could feel the anger and the bitterness climbing up my chest. My stomach was churning, my eyes were watering and I was sooo angry and sad. But grateful that I was on a computer and not on the phone or in person because I would not have been able to hide my emotions as well as I did.

He apologized for the past. He explained what he had been through over the years and how he was doing. (He's married now and seems very happy and balanced) I didn't want to accept the apology. I don't mean that I rejected his apology in a rude or dismissive way. I diminished the thought that there was even a need for him to apologize. I pretended as though it did not even bother me at all. I am grateful that he was mature enough to apologize anyway and not allow me to take that moment from both os us.  I was challenged by the notion that he had matured and mellowed to the point where he could say he was sorry for something that happened practically 20 years ago. 

My reactions after our conversation bothered me for a long time. It hit me after I was stewing about it for about 4 hours that it is this kind of reaction to bad news or the emergence of old unsettled emotions that could very likely have had some a negative impact on my body and made me susceptible to breast cancer or affected my immune system. And while I'm not looking for ways to blame myself for this disease... I am looking for ways to overcome whatever negative behaviors that I have (or had) that could have contributed to it. (I hope that makes sense) Its time to move on.

I had to stop and pray for a long time. I had to close my eyes and just try to calm myself for awhile because I had completely pushed away those emotions but never really dealt with the way that I felt then. And since he apologized, it was time for me to acknowledge that hurt and that pain and then let it go. The pain was deep and it surprised me. I never would have guessed that it was lurking in my heart and my spirit. But there it was... ready to bite me like a snake.

Forgiveness is one of those things that we think we know what it is and how it works... until we have to face something really hard and large and impactful. And then you realize just how much more difficult it is to practice than to theorize about. Forgiveness is simple and yet difficult. Now, here's the tricky part. I don't begrudge him moving on with his life and finding happiness wherever he's found it.  I really don't. This isn't a jealousy issue at all. It is an issue about being hurt by someone who once meant a lot to me. Remembering all the days/nights/weeks/months of questioning myself about what went wrong. But the truth is that all these years later... none of that really matters. What matters is that I was hurt and I am guessing that on some level he was hurt too. And so two hurt young people, hurt each other and then walked away from the aftermath as though it never happened.

I want to be big enough to say... I accept your apology and I forgive you for hurting me back then. But honestly, I'm not quite there yet. I'm close but if I were to say it today, it would not be sincere. Knowing that forgiveness benefits me more than the other person makes it a worthwhile mission to pursue.  I want to forgive him and release that hurt. Realizing that I have a lot of pain buried in my heart that I wasn't really aware of is scary. But I am learning to forgive so that I can move on.

I am also accepting that I am worthy of forgiveness for the ways that I have wronged others in my lifetime. If I can ask and expect forgiveness from someone that I've hurt, then I should be able to give and acknowledge forgiveness to someone who has hurt me and then said with all honesty that they were sorry that they did what they did. We all are worthy of that much.

Anything that I can do that will help me reduce the chances of this cancer coming back into my body... is worth the work and the effort to learn how to manage. It may or may not be true but I will err on the side of caution and just let go of these buried negative emotions. Its just not worth it to jeopardize my health any more.

God answers prayers and questions...

I was sitting around feeling sorry for myself a few months ago. I was honestly wondering whether I could go on.  It was one of those periods where I felt really low, really along and I wondered where I took a wrong path and ended up on the wrong path. While I was preparing for a new blog post, I start wandering around "Blogger" and looking at other people's blogs. I guess I was hoping for a little inspiration. Interestingly enough... I only read two blogs and it was just enough to shake me up and wake me up.

You never know how your life gives someone else's life meaning. Even if its someone you don't even know. When I was preparing to do my taxes a few weeks ago, I whispered a wish to God that I would be so blessed one day that I could put down as my occupation... "philanthropist". I don't live the life that I dreamed about as a kid. I live a very good life, to be sure but this isn't the life that I dreamed of when I was a little girl. But I've always felt that being a philanthropist has to be a life that is just joyous beyond measure. To be blessed enough to give is to be mighty blessed indeed.

I whispered my wish and then promptly forgot about it. A few weeks later a friend came to me with the idea of starting a non-profit. Now, it wasn't the first time that someone had come to me with the idea or the request but it was the first time that it felt right to say yes. My friend and I promptly started educating ourselves about how to start a non-profit. We talked to friends, we have read books, done research on the internet... and while the task is daunting, I am totally plugged in. For once in a very long time... I feel purposeful when I wake up every day.

We have a long way to go but I am so very excited. I only hope that my philanthropic efforts will be well received in the world. It is a blessing to be a blessing.

24th Annual Beyond Shelter Gala

Over twenty five restaurants are participating in this year’s event, including Eastern Standard, Union Bar & Grill, Treat Cupcake Bar, Hamersley’s Bistro, Flour Bakery + Cafe, Ashmont Grill, Aquitaine, Tavolo, and The Fireplace. Narragansett Beer is the official beer sponsor for the event. The annual gala also features a raffle and live auction with items including Red Sox and New England Patriots autographed sports memorabilia, concert tickets, fine art, jewelry, and luxury city weekend getaway packages. 100% of event proceeds will benefit Friends of Boston’s Homeless.

Who:

Host Mayor Thomas M. Menino

Friends of Boston’s Homeless Board of Directors including John Rosenthal

Local artist Sidewalk Sam

What:

24^th Annual Beyond Shelter Gala:

Where:

House of Blues
15 Lansdowne Street
Boston, MA

When:

April 28^th, 7-10pm

Cause:

Friends of Boston’s Homeless

Cost:

$100.00/person ($80 is tax deductible)

Other Info:

For further information and to purchase tickets visit www.fobh.org or call (617) 755-3208.

More Than Words & Authors Globe!

Join More Than Words & Authors Globe at the new Authors Globe Business Book Club at More Than Words Bookstore & Cafe in Waltham, MA. They'll be discussing Chip & Dan Heath's New Year Times & Wall Street Journal Bestseller Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard. There will also be the opportunity to meet other conscious business leaders & professionals in the Boston area.

When: TUES, April 5th, 6:30 - 8:30 pm EST

Where: More Than Words Bookstore & Cafe, 376 Moody St, Waltham, MA

Buy Book: Please consider ordering SWITCH at More Than Words that Chip & Dan Heath have generously donated to this award-winning youth-led social enterprise. Everyone can donate used books & order books!

Will you join my Race for the Cure team?

[Komen Global Race for the Cure]

On Saturday, June 4th, I will join thousands of other pink ribbon supporters in the annual Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. If you don't know what the Race for the Cure is ... you need to get out more often. (laughs)

Before I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I had good intentions of doing the Race for the Cure. Every year I told myself that I was going to participate in the event "next year". I lost my aunt Vinnie Lee to breast cancer and her death haunted me. I had another aunt who was diagnosed with breast cancer and I wanted to honor her journey. I wanted to do my part for the millions of women and men affected with this disease. But every year... I found a reason not to. Or I forgot. Or I had other plans. Or I was feeling tired. Or... or... or... well, you know. I never made the time to do it.

And then I was diagnosed with breast cancer just a few weeks after the Race for the Cure took place. Naturally my perspective changed. I spent the next year in chemotherapy, and surgery and radiation therapy... and I realized that the Race for the Cure was really pretty important. Raising money for breast cancer awareness, research and assistance was critical. So the following year, I registered... raised some money, rocked my pink shirt and decided to join the masses. I was in the midst of recovering from radiation treatment. I was sore. My skin was burned and peeling and I was exhausted like I had never been before. But I walked. I cried the whole day because seeing the sea of pink made it really clear just how massive this disease was.

Millions of women (and a percentage of men too) have to fight this disease. If breast cancer hasn't affected your world directly... keep living. In your lifetime, one in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. Every 69 seconds a woman dies of breast cancer. Nearly a quarter of a million women are diagnosed every year. Every year.

I am asking you to join my team... Join Pink is the new Sexy!!

The walk itself isn't difficult. It isn't long and its not challenging. The effort is symbolic. I need your help. Just like I couldn't get through my treatment alone... I need help to get through this event. Just thinking about it makes me cry. Let's join together and help all those women and families and friends and co-workers who struggle to be healed from this disease.

I need your help. My goal is to have a team of 50 people and to raise $5000. Please consider taking a few hours out of a summer Saturday morning and/or donating a few dollars to the cause. I can't do this without you.

When your shoe game shows your progress

I really like shoes. I do. I REALLY like shoes. But, I'm not much of a shopper. Well, not in comparison with some of my friends and my family members. They are ninjas of shopping... whereas I am more like a kid trying to get to a black belt.

Just before I was diagnosed with breast cancer in the summer of 2008, I went on a shoe shopping binge for a few months. It was outrageous. It seemed like everywhere I went there were beautiful shoes to be found. I stumbled into a store I never go in, looking for something specific (can't remember what though) and found the cutest shoes (that I didn't need) and they were about $10. So of course, shoes that didn't need, that didn't match anything I had... were purchased. They were TEN DOLLARS!!

Sadly, I couldn't walk in them. Uber cute... really high heels for me (at that time). Fast forward a few months and I'm in chemo. I'm weak and I'm tired all the time. I rarely left the house and eventually, I stopped being able to walk in my heels. It was a real bummer. I had tons of cute new shoes -- sandals and wedges and stilettos and platforms -- and I couldn't walk in anything but some Ferragamo loafers, or my Nikes. (I often stumbled in those too)  I resigned myself to only wearing heels on special occasions and left it at that.

Well, now I'm back in my heels. I've been walking in them regularly now since I healed from my reconstruction. It helped (I believe) me with healing and strengthening my core/abdominal muscles and of course, it increased my swagtastic style because you can't help but feel sexy in some beautiful heels. Imagine my surprise today when I remembered that I had a fresh pair of sexy shoes that I have never, ever worn... and since the weather is so nice, I decided to pull them out. And I am surprised that heels that were difficult for me to walk in three years ago, seem really easy to move around in now.

That is progress. It wasn't too long ago that I couldn't walk in any of my heels. Then I progressed to the shorter heels. And eventually, I upgraded to the very high heels in my closet. But, while I could rock my heels for a short time, I couldn't walk in them for hours or wear them to the club and be comfortable. Now, I can. That is progress.

I can't wait to rock these beauties!!

I now regularly strut my stuff in 4-5 inch heels and feel little pain. And... my shoe shopping gene seems to be reactivated. :)  I am happy and feeling girly again. So many shoes that I never got to wear that I will be proud to show off this spring and summer. Once again... I'm going to show breast cancer who is the boss. I will not lose my femininity because of this wretched disease.