Its the holidays...where will your gift giving dollars go?

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year (besides my birthday, which I feel should be a national holiday). But immediately after Thanksgiving, we push right into the Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa season. The time of year where we shift our focus to gift giving and making people smile... by thanking them for all that they've been to you throughout the year.

Sooo... let me take a quick moment to say that as you're thinking of charities and organizations to give money to as we close out the year... please be sure to do some research and be sure that the organization you send your money to actually spends the money on what they say they will.

Pink for breast cancer is big business. I'd love to say it differently but the truth is that the pink ribbon campaign is a major PR and marketing campaign. Personally, I love the campaign more than I'm disturbed by it. Pink has been one of my favorite colors all of my life. I love the girly-ness of it, the various shades often reflect the varying feelings of femininity that I have at any given moment. From red-hot sexiness of hot pink and fuchsia... to the laid back giggle of soft baby pink... I LOVE PINK. So, like I said... sporting pink things to support breast cancer does not bother me at all.

But what does bother me is that a lot of organizations (large and small) use the promise of pink to unfairly influence consumers into believing that they are far more benevolent than they actually are. There has been a recent brouhaha about the "I Love Boobies" group's actual spending of the money that they have raised from selling their very popular bracelets. ("I love boobies", Huffington Post)

This organization, like many others, only claims to RAISE AWARENESS about the disease. They do donate some of their proceeds to a breast cancer fund but it is not a huge amount in the grand scheme of what they have earned from the production of these bracelets. Again, personally, I'm not upset or angry at what they've done. They haven't actually lied to the public about their intentions. But... that's the rub when it comes to spending money on items that are "pink for the cure"... many of us believe that the money we spend is actually going to help some woman (or man) directly who is struggling with the disease. Sadly, that is rarely the case.

More often than not, these companies use the money to make a nominal donation to an organization which then usually spends the money on indirect ways of supporting the disease. Maybe they make donations to research organizations, or they support groups whose main objective is to teach others about the disease. Both of these things are good... but they may not be what you had in mind when you made your purchase or sent in your donation.

As a survivor, I'm just grateful and thrilled that people care enough to want to help. And that's honest. But I want all of us to be really careful about where we send our support and be sure to do a little work to be sure that we are clear where our money is going and what it is supposed to do.

Everything that's pink will not directly help a sister with breast cancer. So, be sure to read the fine print and know where your money is going. And if you're really concerned and want to help directly, try contacting your local breast cancer center at a local hospital... if they don't take donations, they will know what organizations need funding for low cost or free mammograms and other such direct assistance.

A local church celebrates cancer survivors...

The following article is about a church that a friend of mine attends in Washington, DC. The congregation (I believe) is predominately black and because of the high incidences of cancer within the black community, the church decided to hold a service dedicated wholly to cancer survivors. Another friend of mine is mentioned in the article... she shared her experiences as a caregiver cancer survivor.

(This article was first published in The Washington Informer newspaper)
Cancer Survivors Celebrate at Campbell A.M.E. Church

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Cancer Survivors Celebrate at Campbell A.M.E. Church

By Kyra O. Davenport - WI Contributing Writer
Thursday, 04 November 2010 19:19

The rate of breast cancer is higher in Caucasian women than African-American women; however Black women continue to have higher mortality rates.

A Southeast church hosted a program recently to celebrate survivors of a disease that disproportionately affects the Black community. Campbell African Methodist Episcopal Church hosted their first Cancer Awareness service on Sun., Oct. 31 for more than 60 congregants and members of the community.

The services included various speakers, poetry readings and a special ceremony designed to uplift the spirits of the newly diagnosed and celebrate those who have gone toe-to-toe with cancer and lived to tell the story.

“Breast cancer came to me as a surprise. No one in my family ever had cancer; I am truly blessed to be a survivor,” said Juanita Wills, a spry senior and a member of Campbell A.M.E. Church.

The rate of breast cancer is higher in Caucasian women than African-American women; however Black women continue to bear the brunt in terms of mortality rates, according to a report published in The Oncologist, a monthly journal that tracks disease management.

Diane Dawson made it a point to attend the Cancer Awareness service. Like Wills, she also had a story to share with others.

“I am a survivor. [I] support my family members and [I] hope that the community will be aware of cancer and those affected by it,” Dawson, 67 said.

The three-hour service got underway with Pastor Adrien N. Ngudiankama of Salem Gospel Ministries located in Silver Spring, Md. The speaker, an American Cancer Society representative, presented the facts to the congregation in the church’s sanctuary. He reiterated one point on numerous occasions.

“Prevention is better than the cure,” Ngudiankama said.

“Furthermore, there’s a gap between African Americans and the knowledge of the disease. African Americans [are] less likely to see doctors and seek education [about] cancer.”

Ngudiankama said that although cancer isn’t a death sentence, it’s best to try and head it off at the pass.

He shared a few important facts with the audience about the second leading cause of death in America.

Age plays a major role, he said. The older a person becomes -- their risk for the disease increases.

He also cited family history – individuals who may be predisposed or have a history of the disease in their families, run a higher risk of being diagnosed with the disease. The pastor also discussed lifestyle – which includes diet and exercise -- two major factors that can put individuals at-risk.

Throughout the service, survivors approached the podium to share their stories. However, one individual captured the attention of the crowd.

“I am a survivor,” said Teri Ghaffaar to rousing applause from the crowd. “Wait a minute. I don’t have cancer. I am a caregiver survivor. Caregivers get stressed. As a caregiver you must be a strong advocate.

A caregiver must be educated so that we [can] educate patients. We must endure for the patient and ourselves,” Ghaffaar, 51 said.

“I want to see not only the American Cancer Society but all cancer related organizations get more involved with caregivers because if I’m stressed, how can I help the patients,” she said.

The Reverend Daryl K. Kearney, the pastor of Campbell A.M.E. Church, said that he had one goal in mind once he decided to devote his entire Sunday service to this important health care topic.

“My overall aim was to inform the community [about] cancer, which is prevalent in the community and our families, and to speak truth to power,” he said.

“I also wanted to give hope and inspiration to our survivors, and lastly, I wanted us to put our money where our mouth is by sowing a seed to the American Cancer Society for future research.”

Cancer survivors received pins during the service to celebrate their victory over the insidious disease. The Rev. Kearney announced survivors’ names and the types of cancers that they had defeated. Some among the crowd had even beaten two different forms of cancer.

The emotional pinning ceremony caused many seated in the pews to weep, clap their hands and praise God, while Hezekiah Walker’s song, “I Need You to Survive” resonated throughout the church.

James Young, 68, and a member of Campbell A.M.E. Church, spoke candidly about his journey on Sunday. He’s a survivor.

“I still have another chance at life and I’m going to extend my joy to others,” he said with a smile.

what color bra are you wearing? did you tell all your facebook friends?

For the past few days, I've received quite a few requests to update my facebook status with the color of my bra. This was supposed to have two goals; to confuse the men of facebook (they weren't invited to participate) and to promote breast cancer awareness.

My reaction: well, no offense to anyone who sent it to me but it seemed really childish. Like... fresh out of someone's junior high school (okay, middle school--I'm old, forgive me) conversation. My second reaction was that I didn't feel comfortable telling that much of my business to the facebook world. My third reaction was the most lasting -- I couldn't figure out how this change would promote breast cancer awareness.

But as a sister who is on a mission to reduce the shame surrounding breast cancer, and to (even better) encourage all women to take charge of their "sexy" and take charge of their breast health, I had to really think about how I felt about this movement. And it was indeed a movement. My Fabulous Boobies is all for women staking their claim on their own sexuality. A healthy body is a sexy body. And healthy boobs (even if its only one, or if there aren't any) are truly sexy and absolutely fabulous.

I've been reading quite a few articles and blog posts about the Facebook effort and I wasn't the only breast cancer survivor who felt oddly on the outside of this particular effort to raise awareness. Some survivors were brought right back to a place of hurt and pain because it was yet another reminder that their bodies were different. Some were angered. I'm sure that many were like me, confused about the point of it all. Which is quite sad actually. But I think that for once, this movement wasn't really about us as much as it was about "them". Them being the millions and millions of women who don't take the time to pay attention to their breasts. They... needed awareness. We (unfortunately) are on a different level of understanding about what breast cancer can do to our bodies.

After thinking about it for some time I've decided that I'm not offended and in fact, I'm grateful for the attention and pleased that it isn't just about being pink. I love that "we" have a color that easily identifies our cause, however, I like the focus on the actual breasts even more. After all, they are the point of the entire conversation.

The beauty of a viral movement like "put your bra color as your facebook status" is that its simple to do, it doesn't discriminate about size or shape of breasts and it can be as racy or as sedate as the participant is comfortable with. Its a little bit naughty but not too much. It causes guys to use their imagination and women to refocus on their own sexiness for a moment.

I read about the reactions of some women who were slightly embarrassed when they looked down to confirm what they were actually wearing. Hmm....? Dilemma. Do I really tell the world that I have on this dingy apparatus, or tweak imaginations and say that I'm sporting a racy, lacy black demi-cup bra? Depends on who you are and who your friends are -- and what your privacy settings are set to. (laughs)

As crazy as it seems... dressing sexy on purpose (all the way down to your undergarments) is something that a lot of women don't do. We're not always conscious about the parts of ourselves that may not actually receive a lot of attention. Or, we're so caught up in not feeling that we look good enough, we end up dressing poorly so that more attention isn't brought to those areas we're uncomfortable with. So, a movement that forces us to look down and then wonder... isn't bad. Its pretty good if it does, in fact, cause women to think about the choice they made when they got dressed. Its made better because it is about a cause that is stripping the world of a lot of talented people every year. I'm willing to bet money (well, maybe cupcakes since I'm not much of a gambler) that next week, a whole lot of women will dress more consciously and pull out their more sexy and appealing undergarments. (laughs)

All it takes is a little attention to remind you that you are in control of certain things. Wearing a pretty bra may seem like a little thing in the grand scheme of all you're responsible for in a day... but when you feel good on the inside, it shows on the outside. So you can rock your prettiest lace bra and still go out with a conservative outfit on. Only your partner will know your secret. But lots of other people will begin to wonder what's different about you.

Look, my body is not the same as it was. It never will be again. I know that -- even if I don't like it. But what made me sexy before cancer was the way I thought about myself and the way that those thoughts carried over to the way that I presented myself. So, if I can work on being sexy with my changed boobies and changed body... then any woman can connect with her inner vixen and feel sexy every day too. All it takes is a little conscious effort.

And while you're feeling sexy... squeeze 'em up. Feel on those boobies. They are fabulous don't ya know?

The first link below is to the Washington Post article about this phenomenon. The second link is to a lingerie store that I highly recommend to all women who wear bras. A well-fitted bra will change your life. I promise you. (laughs) Most women do not wear the right size bra and the poor fit affects the way that you look in your clothes.

Breast cancer awareness goes viral on Facebook . . . with bra color updates

Link to Intimacy - bra fit stylists



PS. Remind me one day to tell you the story about my first trip to Intimacy. It was eye-popping and bumped my sexy swagger up significantly. But that's a story for another day...

A new year... and a new chance at life beyond breast cancer.

We are just a few days into the year 2010 and by now, hopefully, you've worked out your resolutions and goals for the year. (I haven't but that's besides the point) I have been thinking about what I want to experience this year and how I can make a difference.

When I started this breast cancer journey in the summer of 2008, I told myself that I would not become one of those eternally optimistic, always in pink, breast-cancer-is-my-life women. Not that there is anything wrong with being one of those women -- they are changing the world with their energy and their efforts -- I just didn't want this illness to become my cause. I was ashamed of my diagnosis and I thought that it would be something that I needed to get beyond and then forget about.

Breast cancer simply is not that way. At least not for me. It has now been 16 months of this... and I am becoming that voice.  A year ago I couldn't understand women who said that breast cancer was one of the best things to happen to them.. I'm beginning to understand now.

(more after the jump.. click the READ MORE link)

I guess for some of us -- probably many of us actually -- we allow life to sort of run us into a rut of ordinary living.  I was that way. Looking and searching for something that would make my life feel worthy and meaningful.  Don't get me wrong, I found meaning and purpose in many things but it was as though I couldn't pull it together into one coherent theme. And then breast cancer came along and changed everything that I thought I knew about myself.

In some ways, I see myself the same way. But in many, many more... I know that I am different now and there is no turning back to the way it was. I am not sure whether I will always be super-energized about breast cancer awareness. Knowing me, some of the enthusiasm will wear off after some time. But as long as I have it, I'm going to use it.

I haven't completed a list of resolutions -- not sure that I will do one actually -- but one thing I do know is that I will have at least one event that is a fundraiser for women and men diagnosed with breast cancer. Right now, I am envisioning a grand gala with a sexy theme. But I will keep you posted about the details as the year goes on.

What are you going to do to help the cause that means the most to you?  Think about it, and then make it happen. If I can help you in anyway, leave me a note and let me know.