Feeling the financial crunch of being ill

I'm still at home recuperating from my major surgery the other week. It is so amazing that I went through 12 and half hours of surgery where pieces of my body where removed and then placed in other places....and then all of the blood vessels were micro-surgically stitched back together. It is AMAZING to know that I made it through all of that. I am in awe of the skills of my surgical team. Even though I was a bit of a problem patient for them I think -- not from a health issue but I wasn't emotionally connected and I wasn't reall hyped about the whole event. And that funky attitude really made a different in how I responded to the requests to do things while I was in the hospital.

But eventually I got my head n the game and did what I needed to do to get out of that hospital and back into my own home. Since being home, I have done some of the things I'm supposed to do. I do get my rest. I am not getting my walking which, starting tomorrow will change. I do try to eat and drink -- but I know I'm falling short on that too. My appetite is still pretty weak.

In an ideal world, I'd love to go and have dinner at one of my favorite restaurants in town, maybe have some drinks or coffee with friends and just laugh and enjoy myself. But, I can't see it happening right now. The bills of my life seem to come whether I have money to pay them or not. So, I have to stretch my money to cover this and that... and hope that there will be enough to pay for other things.

I want to do things like travel, buy a car, maybe buy a condo...but I am not sure how to work that plan based upon what I'm earning right now and what I have in the bank. Next year presents me with issues of more surgical procedures -- mostly out patient procedures, except for one. Each surgery means downtime and some additional costs that I'm not sure how I will pay. But I will pay.

The costs of being ill are high. Beyond the medical bills from the hospital, the doctors and the prescriptions. There's the additional costs of travelling to/from the doctors & hospitals, the costs of the medical tools and supplements that are needed -- like gauze, sponges, bandages, etc.

My appetite is really low... so low that I think I will be going back to drinking Ensure to make sure that I am getting enough nutrients and protein necessary for my healing. But that's again, an additional cost. And so forth.

I am dreaming of the day I can go back to work. I'm hoping that its very soon but I don't know when it will be exactly. When I go back to work, I will need more things to help me with that transition as well. Clothes, under garments that fit properly with support but without chafing, or rubbing. I have no idea where to find what I think I need.

I also have to be fitted for a compression sleeve for my arm to control my lymphedema. It was doing really well when I got home from the hospital but it seems to be puffing up again and I have to also find a physical therapist who can help me deal with this.

I will be searching for a budget program that will help me to figure out how I can stay on top of all these bills and expenses. I am confident that there is an answer out there. As soon as I find it, I will share it with you. If you know of anything that may help, please let me know.

...and help me find a way to let my family know that I'm not a Scrooge but gifts are going to be really minimal this year. The love is there, the money is not.