why an advance directive is necessary for your life

I'm watching "Last Holiday", the movie with Queen Latifah and LL Cool J. In the movie, Queen is a mousy, quiet woman who is diagnosed with a fatal disease and given 3 weeks to live. In a disturbing twist, her health care plan will not cover the necessary procedure that could save or extend her life. (That little twist played right into my own fears about health insurance with breast cancer...)

As I continue to prepare for surgery, I have to think about (and act upon) some unpleasant tasks. The first one being... preparing for the "just in case" because surgery is a risk and something could happen.  As you know, I'm single, never been married and I have no children. So... I never really thought that I needed a will. And then breast cancer came along and showed me that my life is fragile -- just like everyone else's -- and while I don't have much, there are some things that I would like to share with certain friends and family when I'm gone. And contrary to my own belief, I do have my own thoughts about how I want to live my life... you know, just in case.

Few of us like to think about death. But the reality is that having an illness like breast cancer means that you have to be wholly aware of lots of details about your life and its impact on your loved ones. Now, I'm not going to make you guys think that I'm bold and bravely walking into this "being a grown-up" thing. (laughs) Nothing of the sort is true... but I was reminded the other day that I do have to accept the possibilities that something can go wrong and try to prepare for it.

Prepare an advance directive

When I went to take care of my pre-surgery bloodwork the other day, the administrator asked me for an advance directive. I didn't have one (which was okay) but after I left the hospital, I realized that I actually did have one on-line. Suze Orman (financial guru that she is) has an online will and trust program on her website that will allow you to prepare an advance directive in about 5 minutes.  [Suze Orman, Will and Trust link]  I actually had created an advance directive a couple of months ago. I just had forgotten about it. (Still need to finish that will though)

What is an advance directive?

An advance directive tells your doctor what kind of care you would like to have if you become unable to make medical decisions (if you are in a coma, for example). If you are admitted to the hospital, the hospital staff will probably talk to you about advance directives. A good advance directive describes the kind of treatment you would want depending on how sick you are. For example, the directives would describe what kind of care you want if you have an illness that you are unlikely to recover from, or if you are permanently unconscious. Advance directives usually tell your doctor that you don't want certain kinds of treatment. However, they can also say that you want a certain treatment no matter how ill you are.

 Okay...so here's the deal... take 5 minutes and think about what you would want done if something were to happen while you're in treatment or in surgery (as in my case).

• Is it against your religion to donate your organs? Does anyone know that?
• Do you want the medical team to do whatever it takes to keep you alive or would you want them to let you go in peace, if it looks too bad?
• What do YOU want to happen in YOUR treatment?

I know these aren't sexy thoughts...but its part of the reality of life with cancer. And trust me... its really not that painful at all. Remember the mantra... YOU are the boss of your treatment. That's the song that is playing in my head repeatedly... I am the boss. I am the boss. I am the boss.

Feel me?

The choices I made in my advance directive may not be the same choices that you would make. But that's what makes it such a necessity and also what makes it so very cool. This journey (with all its bumps and curves and hills) is mine. It is not one-size-fits-all... it is custom-fitted for me.

Actually completing the advance directive on Suze's site took about 2 minutes. Literally. She's got it all worked out so that you just fill in a few blanks and bam, you're done. The hardest part was actually thinking before-hand what I want. And committing to it.

Which I did. :)