So Thankful for Help Shopping for My New Outfit

I have been a bit anxious about getting a new outfit for the Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day in Ottawa. I had already been shopping a couple of times, looking at clothes but just didn’t have the energy to try anything on. So at our Sears coffee group yesterday, I was thrilled when Irm and S offered to help me pick something out.

We went into Sears and while we were grabbing at outfits, a clerk named Maria came by and said, no those colors won’t work for you … you need these colors that will pick up the color of your eyes. How wonderful … someone who really knows what they are doing. She then picked out a couple more outfits and together we went into the change room. 

I said thank you so much, I need help because I am undergoing breast cancer treatment and I have low energy. I anxiously told her I need a special outfit for a special event. She said no trouble at all, calm down and I will help you every step of the way. We will do this slow and easy.

Right off the top, I told her I’m not exactly an easy customer. My tops can’t be too low in the front because I have a breast prosthesis and a catheter scar and I want to make sure they’re well covered. Tops also need sleeves long enough to cover my PICC and wide enough fit over my lymphedema. And most importantly, I just want the whole thing to be comfortable to wear. 

Maria was amazing. I lost track but she brought in 20 or 25 pieces of clothing over ~two hours. She helped me put on and take off each and every item. As time was ticking by, I tried to rush things a little. She said slow down, I’m here to help … it’s my job. I think she ended up missing her break. She really did go ‘above and beyond’ to fit me. 

I have to thank Irm and S for being so patient with what looks good on me. I can hardly believe how blessed I am to have all this help.

I came out with an amazing outfit and can’t wait to show it off.

BOOK REVIEW: Promises to Keep

A few months ago I was contacted by a publishing house and asked to read and review an upcoming book. Since I love FREE things and I was immensely flattered by the request, I accepted the book and promised to review it here.

I did read the book when I received it, but I couldn't review it right away because it bothered me. I wasn't sure that I could give a good review that wasn't harsh or unflattering. I wanted to be honest because I know how much work goes into the writing and publishing of a book... but I didn't want to be mean.

That said... "Promises to Keep" by Jane Green is a good book. And no, I'm not just saying that because one of the main characters is a breast cancer survivor. It honestly is a good book. It disappointed me because I expected the book to be more about the woman with breast cancer and less about everyone else in her life... but it wasn't.

A little background:  Jane Green is one of the first women to step into the chick-lit genre and really make a killing. Her book sales are large and she has a huge fan following. I was truly excited to read this story that was loosely based on her own experiences losing a close friend to breast cancer. As a survivor, I was looking forward to seeing and learning how this disease affects the people around you. In that regard, it didn't disappoint. I did learn how it affected her parents, her husband, her kids, her sister and her best friend. I just didn't learn enough.

Just a little bit of insight about "Promises to Keep":

From Publishers Weekly


In Green's 12th novel, Callie Perry is a happily married photographer with two wonderful kids, a lovable sister, Steffi, and a best friend, Lila. Problems are minor: Steffi can never settle down, Lila has finally found love but the guy has a nightmare of an ex, and Callie and Steffi's divorced parents haven't spoken in 30 years. But then Callie, a breast cancer survivor, is diagnosed with a rare and incurable complication of the disease. Suddenly realizing that she has only months to live, she begins the painful process of saying good-bye. While the subject matter is intense and personal, it's far from depressing; the characters are warm, funny and realistic. Green (The Beach House) manages to create an authentic tale of a woman who truly loves her life and family and is trying to do the right thing for them before she dies. While Green breaks up her chapters with recipes (presumably because Steffi is a cook), this peculiar modern conceit in women's literature feels like a misstep. Overall, Green once again delivers an enjoyable emotional story. (June)

Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Callie Perry seems to have it all: a handsome husband she adores, two adorable children, and a thriving business as a portrait photographer. A battle with breast cancer four years ago only made her marriage to Reece stronger, but the couple faces a major setback when agonizing headaches and a frightening blackout send Callie back to the hospital soon after celebrating her forty-third birthday. While Callie's oncologist tries to determine if her cancer has returned, her family rallies around her. Her younger sister, Steffi, a successful chef, has recently traded a fast-paced life in New York City for a quieter one in Sleepy Hollow in order to reassess her priorities. Callie and Steffi's father, Warren, has barely been able to be in the same room with their mother, Honor, since she left him; but news of Callie's plight brings him rushing to her bedside. Inspired by a friend's battle with cancer, Green's story definitely has the emotional heart and resonance to hook readers of women's fiction. --Kristine Huntley

I know that chick-lit is supposed to be pretty light and fluffy... interesting character sketches that appeal to women. But this story fell flat for me. Maybe I am too self-focused to understand but it was as though this woman's death was almost an inconvenience for the people in her life. Everyone had their own baggage and stuff to work through... and while they were sad that she was dying of cancer, they seemed to function okay. Not what I was expecting.

That said... if you're into chick-lit, if you're a Jane Green fan, and if you are interested in seeing how the caregivers deal with someone they love dying of breast cancer... this is a good story for all of that. I just think (actually, I just wish) that Jane had dug a lot deeper into the emotional baggage surrounding the disease and the anticipation of the death of a loved one. I think it would have made a more compelling story. As it is... I felt that she applied too light of a touch to the story. I felt that the person who was dealing with the breast cancer recurrence was the only one who experienced any real depth of emotions and honestly, I know better.

The people who love you through your treatment and afterwards, go through emotional highs and lows on par with yours as the patient. Please believe that. Chick-lit isn't supposed to be deep, I know that... so I think my expectations were misplaced and that's why I was somewhat disappointed with this book. One story that I read a few years ago, about a mother dealing with a bi-polar child... really took me through the emotional highs and lows of the caregiver of someone dealing with a life-altering illness. I expected "Promises to keep" to be on par with "72 Hour Hold".   But sadly, it didn't go far enough into the pain that I'm sure was felt by everyone.

It was a good story but not a GREAT story. But then again, maybe I'm biased because I've been through the breast cancer struggle and I know the impact my illness had (and still has) on my close friends and family members. Check it out for yourself and let me know what you think.

Flu Season Facts

I’ve come across a few people recently who have either had a cold or the flu. And my reaction is usually the same ... I try to put some distance between them and myself. I try to be on high alert on things that they’ve touched so I don’t touch them. I just don’t even want to consider being sick. 

So, as this flu season approaches, it’s time for some simple reminders on how to avoid getting sick. They are things we all should be doing all year long but have probably become lax on.

• Wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands ... or, if you can’t wash your hands, use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer.
• Refrain from touching your nose, mouth and eyes.
• Stay away from people who appear to be sick.
• If you are going to have visitors, don’t be afraid to ask them if they or any immediate family members are ill.
• Consider a flu vaccine.

And for friends and family of someone undergoing cancer treatment, please remember that people undergoing treatment are at a higher risk of infection because of their chemo weakened immune system. A simple flu to a healthy person can turn into pneumonia in a cancer patient. So be aware.

For more information on flu facts for cancer patients ... pls click here.

Almost a year after the TRAM Flap surgery

Its been nearly a year since I had my breast reconstructed. The TRAM Flap procedure is the method I opted for and generally speaking, I'm pleased. I ended up having a "free TRAM flap" which is a complicated and intense procedure. I chose this procedure because it used my own body tissue and because I felt that in the long-term, it would be better for me. It would have been easier and faster to have had an implant but after all of the breast cancer treatments, I was really leery about having anything foreign in my body. When I speak to other survivors who have gone through breast reconstruction, I still wonder whether I made the right choice -- or rather, was there an easier choice to make. But, its fine now and I really have few complaints.

My tummy is somewhat flat. It isn't as flat as I expected it to be. I thought it would be just ridiculously flat but a better descriptor would be smooth. I guess in order to get it to flat, I will have to do some work. (laughs)  My breast is amazing. I still don't have a nipple yet, but I will have one soon. Surprisingly, I'm actually okay without it right now. The reconstructed breast looks wonderful in my clothes. And its nice and perky (as is my other breast which was reduced to match in size). I often run around without a bra on... and that is really cool. Hmm... I didn't realize what I was missing all those years I carried those super-large breasts around.

The downsides are few... I still have limited feeling in my tummy area. The numb area is much smaller than it was immediately following the surgery. But all of the feeling has not returned to my tummy area. My abdomen muscles are stronger but still not completely strong. Every now and then I'll do something that reminds me that I had major surgery and had some of my abdominal muscles removed. But it doesn't happen often and when it does happen, the cramps don't last too long. My posture is still rather poor. It is better than it was after my mastectomy but I am truly a work-in-progress in this area. The tightness of my abdomen causes me to involuntarily curl at the shoulders to avoid pulling those muscles too hard. Hard to be sexy with rounded shoulders. (laughs) But I'm working on that too.

The additional surgery around my underarm area totally aggravated my lymphedema. It was very mild prior to the TRAM procedure... now, it is the bane of my life. I am so sick of the fat arm... ugh. But, I can still move it around and I'm just forced to constantly stretch and exercise and massage it. And wear my compression sleeve. I am hoping that as I start to lose weight (I'm changing my food habits now) and start to work out more (planning to incorporate some very light weight lifting into my exercise plan), the lymphedema will get better. I know that for the longest time doctors have been telling breast cancer patients with lymphedema risks not to over-exert the affected arm, not to lift heavy objects and all that. But that seems so off to me (and yes, I have no medical training whatsoever but so what). I'm just going to do what I think is best and hope for the best.

The other downside of the procedure is that while my new breast is nice... it doesn't actually look like a real breast. And there are times when that matters to me. Also, there's no feeling in it. I can feel around it... but I cannot feel the actual breast. If someone brushes against me, or even reaches out to grab me... I won't notice it unless I see it happen. That is not very sexy. (laughs) But, all things considered, I'm more happy with my reconstructed breast than I was without it.

The pain after the surgery is really a dim memory. I recall that it was the most painful thing I'd ever experienced in my life. And I absolutely hated the recuperation period. But, despite all of that... I am generally pretty happy. I chose the TRAM flap because implants require regular surgical maintenance and I did not want to do that. However implants are easier to get initially, take much less time in the operating room, cost significantly less and your recuperation time is far shorter. So they are truly a good option. TRAM flaps are one time options though. Once they take the flesh from your tummy, they cannot go back and do that procedure again. My plastic surgeon was trying to convince me to have both breasts removed so that she could do the TRAM flap for both breasts at the same time. I just refused to do that. I am hoping that I don't regret the decision to keep my natural breast.

I don't particularly like my scars (on either breast) but they don't make me as crazy as they used to when I look at them. I am becoming more and more comfortable wearing low-cut things that show off my cleavage and my scars. I am less concerned with people noticing my scars and asking me crazy questions. The scars on my hips and across my lower belly have healed well. They haven't disappeared which is what I had hoped for but they are okay. It really looks a lot like a cesarean scar except it stretches from hip to hip. Now that I think about it though, I have slacked off with my vitamin E oil/shea butter massages on my scars. Hmm... need to get back on that. It was definitely helping the scars to look better, my skin to look better and also to soften up the tissue underneath the scars.

I am about 11 months from the surgery and its been a good recuperation. I am confident that I will continue to make progress and feel sexier every day. I do not regret making this choice at all.

Presented with a Great Opportunity

I have been invited by the Canadian Breast Cancer Network to speak and to help promote Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day on October 13. This day is recognized in Canada and in the United States. My name will be used in media alerts and press releases and they might quote me and use my photo. 

To help me out with all of this, the CBCN has sent a background information package about the CBCN to help prepare me for the press and TV interviews that I will be doing. 

Even tho I am thrilled with this opportunity to speak about my experience and get the message out about metastatic breast cancer; I’m just a bit nervous about doing a good job. I wasn’t sure I had it in me, so I asked D … do you think I can do this? He said yes, without a doubt. 

To kick off the event, the CBCN is having a breakfast rally next week on Parliament Hill in Ottawa. My flight and room are already booked … only thing left to do is to buy a new outfit.

100 Foods Every Woman Should Include in Her Diet

I stumbled across this article many months ago and intended to share it then. I think you should review it and try to incorporate as many of these foods into your diet as you can. Its great information. I didn't change any part of it.
~Nicole
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100 Foods Every Woman Should Include in Her Diet

by Olesya Novik



One of my clients, a nurse, came across a “100 Healthiest Foods for Women” list on a nursing website several months ago. She emailed it to me, and I found it useful enough to bookmark — and email to some of my friends, as well. Now, I must say, I did add my own “footnotes” to those emails, as there are certain foods on here I wouldn’t necessarily recommend for daily consumption (bread and soy products being two of them), and I certainly disagreed with quite a large portion of the “Weight Loss” and “Healthy Snack” lists of foods, but I’ll let you be the judge — and I’d like to hear your thoughts on the different items you see on here, in the comments section below the article.

I hope you ladies begin to implement the below foods into your diets. Remember, it isn’t all about eating “clean,” — health should always come first!

The following article originally appeared on NursingDegree.net, under the title: “100 Healthiest Foods for Women Every Nurse Should Know.”

Women’s health needs range from extra iron during childbearing years to calcium and vitamin D for bone health. The following list provides 100 foods that will help every woman ensure that she is getting the very best nutrition for her body. From delicious avocados to tasty snack treats like pistachios to healthy desserts that are actually good for you, every nurse or nurses assistant should have these 100 foods in her care-giving arsenal.


Overall Health

The following foods are just so good for you that they should be a part of your diet to help you stay healthy.

1. Flax seed. This little seed is a great supplement for a woman’s diet. Flax seeds are high in omega-3 EFAs and lignans, an important type of fiber for women.

2. Kale. This much-overlooked green is full of the B vitamin, folate, as well as calcium, and vitamins A and C.

3. Pumpkin. Not just for pies, the beta-carotene in pumpkin reduces the risk of breast cancer and helps your body repair its skin.

4. Butternut squash. Cook this baked, stuffed, or mashed or throw in a soup for a delicious vegetable high in beta-carotene.

5. Sweet potatoes. Don’t just eat these jewels at Thanksgiving. Sweet potatoes are full of vitamins A and C as well as calcium, phosphorus, potassium, magnesium and iron.

6. Dark meat. Lean red meat and dark meat from poultry are high in iron, which is a necessity for women of childbearing age.

7. Broccoli. Your mama always said to eat your broccoli. It’s high in calcium, potassium, and B vitamins.

8. Salmon. This super food is high in omega-3 EFAs and protein, low in cholesterol and contains quite a few B vitamins, calcium, zinc, iron and magnesium.

9. Mangos. Mangos are high in vitamin A and C and help guard against cervical cancer.

10. Figs. Discover the flavor and benefits of figs, which are high in fiber, B vitamins, iron, potassium, and calcium.

11. Kiwi. These tasty little fruits pack a punch with more vitamin C than an orange.



Skin Health

From high concentrations of vitamins E and A to anti-inflammatory properties, these foods are all great for keeping your skin healthy and young-looking.

12. Avocados. Delicious and nutritious, avocados have lots of B-complex vitamins and are an anti-inflammatory, which is great for the skin.

13. Green tea. Technically a drink, green tea has polyphenols which are an anti-inflammatory.

14. Carrots. Carrots are full of vitamin A, which helps your skin repair itself.

15. Spinach. This vegetable is absolutely loaded with vitamins and minerals with especially high concentrations of vitamins K and A and manganese and folate. It also helps prevent against osteoporosis, heart disease, colon cancer, ovarian cancer, and arthritis.

16. Cantaloupe. This great fruit has plenty of vitamins A and C–two vitamins your skin needs to keep healthy.

17. Citrus fruit. Oranges and grapefruit are full of vitamin C, which helps keep wrinkles at bay.

18. Bananas. Bananas have the B vitamin biotin, which builds healthy skin, hair and nails and helps prevent skin irritations such as dermatitis.

19. Tomatoes. Like bananas, tomatoes have biotin and also lycopene, which helps prevent cancer.

20. Sunflower seeds. Sunflower seeds have lots of vitamin E, which is well-known for its healthy skin properties. Taken both topically and eaten, the benefits of vitamin E for your skin are enormous.

21. Hazelnuts. Another great source of vitamin E are hazelnuts, which also offer protection against cancer and heart disease.

22. Olives. Olives provide both vitamin E and anti-inflammatory properties which help promote healthy skin. They are also very high in iron.

23. Brazil nuts. Brazil nuts are high in selenium, which can reduce the chance of sunburn on the skin, slow down the aging process, and aid in the treatment of skin cancer.

24. Cottage cheese. Eat cottage cheese to get lots of calcium and selenium for your skin. Use in place of ricotta in your recipes.

25. Walnuts. These nuts are packed with omega-3 and omega-6 EFAs which promote skin repair and elasticity.


Healthy Cardiovascular System

To prevent against heart disease and stroke, eat these foods to strengthen your cardiovascular system.

26. Canola oil. Replace the oil in your salad dressing with canola oil for a healthy alternative.

27. Skinless poultry. Leaving off the skin will greatly reduce the fat in poultry, making for a more heart-healthy diet.

28. Egg substitutes. Reducing the fat from eggs will help your heart. If you don’t like egg substitutes, just eliminate the yolk and eat the egg white.

29. Cabbage. This vegetable is a great food for a healthy cardiovascular system. Eaten raw is best.

30. Onions. Another good vegetable for your heart is onions.

31. Grapes. Easy to get and loved by most, this fruit is also a great choice for a healthy heart.

32. Raspberries. High in antioxidants, this fruit offers benefits to your cardiovascular system.


Reduce Cholesterol

Getting your cholesterol to a healthy level is a combination of reducing the bad cholesterol (LDL) and raising the good (HDL) cholesterol. The following foods all play a part in either reducing the bad, raising the good, or both.

33. Whole wheat bread. Get rid of the white bread and switch to whole wheat, which lowers bad cholesterol.

34. Oatmeal. A great food for reducing cholesterol, oatmeal also has lots of vitamins E and C, potassium, and omega-3 EFAs.

35. Soy. Soy has been shown to not only significantly lower bad cholesterol, but to also raise good cholesterol. Use soy milk, tofu, or edamame for the best results.

36. Almonds. With lots of polyunsaturated fatty acids, almonds will help reduce the bad cholesterol in your body.

37. Fish. Find fish rich in omega-3 EFAs such as mackerel, salmon, tuna, and trout.

38. Extra-virgin olive oil. This variety of olive oil, which is less processed, will help lower your bad cholesterol and is high in antioxidants.

39. Unsaturated fats. Replace saturated fats in your diet with unsaturated fats to reduce your cholesterol. Try replacing cooking oils with canola, corn, safflower, or soybean oils.

40. Garlic. Raw garlic (and lots of it) will help reduce your cholesterol. You might want to make sure your partner is sharing the garlic with you, though.

41. Cranberry-grape juice. Cranberries raise the good cholesterol while grapes slow the bad cholesterol’s oxidation.

42. Pomegranate juice. According to a National Academy of Sciences study, this juice reduces cholesterol plaque build-up and reduces plaque in your arteries.


Bone Health

Women who work to create healthy bones experience fewer problems with osteoporosis in their later years. These foods are rich in potassium, magnesium, calcium, and other nutrients essential for bone health.

43. Leafy greens. The calcium in leafy greens absorbs much better in the body than calcium in dairy products.

44. Sesame seeds. High in calcium to prevent bone loss and have copper, which can reduce the swelling and pain associated with arthritis, and zinc, which also helps keep bones healthy, these tiny seeds are a big source of nutrition for bone health.

45. Beans. Beans are low in fat, high in fiber, inexpensive, and have a high amount of non-animal protein that helps prevent calcium loss.

46. Lowfat yogurt. Yogurt is high in calcium and is easier to digest than most other dairy products. It also contains lots of vitamin A and protein.

47. Tofu. Also high in protein and a great source of nutrition for your bone health, tofu is versatile and delicious.

48. Eggs. Not only are eggs loaded with protein, they are also full of vitamin D, which helps the body absorb calcium more efficiently.


Weight Loss

Losing weight seems to be a national pastime. Rather than jumping on a fad diet, change your menu to include these foods and see the difference it makes in your life.

49. Tortillas. Low in fat, tortillas make a good substitute for bread. Find whole wheat to really get the best for your body.

50. Water. This should be your drink of choice. It keeps you hydrated, suppresses your appetite, and helps metabolize fat.

51. Fruit smoothie. Add bananas, blueberries, apple juice, and wheat germ or protein powder for an excellent food to keep you healthy and encourage weight loss.

52. Whole wheat bagel. Filled with nutritious whole grains and low in sugar, bagels work for breakfast or as the bread for your sandwich at lunch.

53. Romaine lettuce. Give up iceberg lettuce, which has barely any nutritional value and use romaine for your salads and sandwiches.

54. Veggie burger. Filled with soy and other vegetables, this alternative to beef is significantly lower in calories and healthy too.

55. Dried papayas. Full of iron and vitamins C and A, dried papaya is good for you and the sweetness is a great substitute for a candy bar.

56. Spaghetti squash. Cook this healthy vegetable and replace the strands of it for the pasta in your spaghetti recipe for a delicious meal without the carbs.

57. Watermelon. Sweet and full of hydrating water, this fruit is a great food to fill you up without filling you out.



Nuts, Beans, and Grains

These foods provide lots of protein and are a great substitute for red meat. Find out how to add these healthy foods in to your diet.


58. Lentils. These little powerhouses are super high in iron, protein, and fiber. They also have lots of potassium, calcium, iron, B vitamins, phosphorus and copper. Also, lentils have absolutely no fat.

59. Quinoa. Quinoa is a fun substitute for rice and is a great source of iron, which women need in their diet.

60. Barley. Another grain not frequently used outside of beer, it is full of protein, fiber, potassium, phosphorus and iron.

61. Brown rice. Replace your white rice with brown rice to get tons of health benefits including a reduced risk for diabetes, colon cancer, heart disease, and lower cholesterol.

62. Peanut butter. Not just for sandwiches, dip apples or celery in peanut butter for food high in protein and fiber–and a good replacement for red meat.

63. Bulgur. Similar to cracked wheat, but requiring less cooking time, bulgur is a whole grain full of fiber, calcium, and protein.

64. Chickpeas. Throw these in a salad or make some simple hummus with these legumes full of protein, fiber, and folate.



Antioxidants

Foods that are high in antioxidants help reverse the damaging effects of oxygen on the cells in your body. The benefits of antioxidants include anti-aging as well as prevention for heart disease, cancer, stroke, diabetes, and Alzheimer’s.

65. Kidney beans. With these inexpensive beans you get protein, fiber, folate, magnesium, and iron. Try substituting kidney beans for meat in your next meal.

66. Blueberries. Full of vitamin C and potassium, these little berries are full of nutrition and reportedly are one of the foods highest in antioxidants.

67. Plums. Available almost year round, these fruits have plenty of vitamins A, B, C, fiber, and potassium.

68. Strawberries. For a fruit that can protect your heart, guard against cancer, provide anti-inflammatory properties, and help prevent age-related macular degeneration, strawberries are the way to go.

69. Artichokes. Get magnesium, folic acid, fiber, and vitamins A and C with artichokes, which can help with a whole host of medical problems.

70. Blackberries. These plumb little tasties are full of vitamins B, C, and K as well as fiber and manganese.

71. Pecans. Full of vitamin E and great for lowering cholesterol, these nuts are great on their own or baked in a pie, cookies, or brownies.

72. Cherries. Rich red cherries are not only delicious, but are high in fiber and vitamins C and A. They are reported to help with arthritis, heart health, and sleep problems.

73. Honey. Chock full of antioxidants, this sweet treat also has antibacterial properties and works well for sore throats and coughs.

74. Apples. Long associated with healthy nutrition, an apple a day can provide heart and brain health benefits.


Super Foods

Some foods are so incredibly packed with important nutrients that they have become known as super foods. Read about these super foods and you may discover a new favorite food that is great for your body.

75. Acai. Known as one of the most nutritious berries in the world, use this juice in a smoothie or drink on its own.

76. Goji berries. Give this latest super food a try. One of these little Himalayan berries has more vitamin C than an orange and more beta carotene than carrots.

77. Cacao nibs. The heart of the cocoa bean, this little bit of raw chocolate is full of antioxidants as well as flavonoids that help your heart and have been reported to significantly elevate your mood. Try some covered in chocolate for a combination of the raw and finished product.

78. Buckwheat. Full of protein and high in amino acid, buckwheat also helps stabilize blood sugar and reduce hypertension. Japanese soba noodles and buckwheat pancakes are two delicious ways to eat this food.

79. Chili peppers. Packed with vitamin C, these hot little numbers also contain antioxidants and help burn fat.

80. Sprouts. For protein and vitamin C, sprinkle some sprouts on your salad or use in your sandwich along with your leafy green lettuce.

81. Rhubarb. High in potassium, vitamin C, and fiber, rhubarb also helps reduce hot flashes in menopausal women.

82. Pumpkin seeds. These seeds are loaded with phytosterols, which help lower cholesterol, as well as omega-3 and omega-6 EFAs and minerals such as phosphorus, magnesium, zinc and iron.

83. Cinnamon. Containing polyphenols, the same agent in green tea, cinnamon has been shown to reduce blood sugar in people with type 2 diabetes.

84. Shallots. Replace or use in addition to garlic and onion to get the benefits of this vegetable that helps promote the good bacteria in your digestive tract and help eliminate toxins from your liver.

85. Turmeric. A popular spice used in Indian dishes, it has been used for hundreds of years to treat arthritis. Use it with chicken or in Indian curry to help reduce inflammation due to arthritis or any other cause.


Healthy Snacks

Making it between meals can sometimes be hard without a snack. Instead of reaching for a bag of potato chips or driving through to pick up fries, try these snacks instead.

86. Energy bar. Some energy bars are specifically designed for women such as Luna Bars, which are organic and have plenty of calcium, folate, iron and antioxidants.

87. Granola bar. Make your own or buy some with natural sweeteners for a healthy between-meal snack.

88. Pretzels. This crunchy snack is high in fiber and protein.

89. Multigrain crackers. Eat these by themselves or put some healthy treats on top for a delicious snack full of whole grains and fiber.

90. Rice cakes. Low in fat and calories and full of the nutritional benefits of rice, rice cakes enjoy a long history in Asia as a healthy snack.

91. Graham crackers. Not just for kids, these treats are sweet and healthy at the same time.

92. Soy crisps. These healthy snacks are full of protein, iron, and calcium.

93. Veggie chips. Toss out your potato chips and opt for some type of veggie chips instead. Made with real vegetables and made with non-hydrogenated oils, these are the chips to eat.

94. Pistachios. This delicious snack is full of potassium and healthy fats.

95. Popcorn. Skip the butter and try any number of healthy touches sprinkled on top such as chili powder, a light sprinkling of flavored sea salts, or Italian seasoning.


Healthy Desserts

Finishing off your healthy meal with a giant piece of pie covered in ice cream may be okay every now and then, but for healthier desserts, chose something from this list.

96. Frozen yogurt. Replace your ice cream with a healthy alternative that provides calcium as well as curbs that sweet tooth.

97. Frozen fruit bar. Look for a bar with no added sugar, just pure fruit goodness, for a nutritious dessert.

98. Fresh melon salad. Mix cantaloupe and honeydew with some fresh mint leaves and honey for a delicious dessert that is very healthy.

99. No-sugar hot chocolate. Mix unsweetened cocoa with stevia and sprinkle cinnamon on top for a healthy after-dinner drink.

100. Dark chocolate. Get dark chocolate with 60% cocoa or greater for a delicious snack that can reduce blood pressure and is full of antioxidants. Better yet, try an all natural version like Innocent Chocolate made with organic, raw, and unprocessed ingredients and sweetened with agave instead of sugar.

Trying the Master Cleanse

Let me start with this... you know that your girl (that would be me) is sort of vain, right? Well... I don't think I'm overly vain -- I can walk by a mirror and not check myself out -- but I do value my attractiveness and would like to stay in the best shape that I can. Its a little interesting considering that I'm also a bit lazy and a lot greedy...

Not a good combination of traits. Sigh. Its worse now that I'm -- gulp -- middle aged and a breast cancer survivor. Sigh. Thanks to my age and my treatment, it seems that my metabolism has slowed to a crawl. All things considered, its a tolerable problem to have. But I have realized that I simply must do better for myself. I can't be overly concerned with the outside and then ignore the inside... so I've decided to start getting it together.

I like to eat. I like red meat and pork... I eat refined white flour and sugar. I do eat vegetables and fruits but I also eat cakes, cookies and pies. I can eat pizza and french fries nearly everyday. I drink alcohol regularly and occasionally I will have a cup of coffee. Oh... did I mention the love affair that I have with pasta? Yeah... I know. That's not the best way to fuel your body. I've been allowing myself the luxury of eating whatever I want whenever I want it because I can be very soothed by food. I admit that I'm still pampering myself because of the cancer and all of the other stressors in my life. But, I have come to realize that I'm doing myself a disservice. In a big way.

I'm planning to cleanse for a few days and then refocus my efforts to eat clean with less meat, fewer processed foods, more veggies and much more water. My health is actually very important to me and I know that looking good is definitely more than skin deep.  I need to detox and cleanse to get things back on track.

My plan is to detox for 3 days and then add more fruits, veggies and water to my diet while reducing my alcohol intake and severely cutting back my red meat. (So sad... I like steak and bacon -- and sometimes I like steak with bacon) I know that I probably won't ever move to a vegan or a raw food diet, though I know that it is better for me than my current food choices. But I'm hoping that I will be able to make the shift to better eating habits if I cleanse monthly and be more diligent with my daily walks.

I hope that I can make it these few days without food. Wish me luck.

New Mammogram Technology

This is a 3 minute video on new 3D mammograms making it easier to spot tumors.

Clues for the Pinktober! Contest

Well, so far, I'm pretty disappointed with the responses for my first blog contest. But as I thought about it, I realized that maybe you could use some hints to help you figure out the answers.

Well, clue #1:

-The first tumor was named after a song by Curtis Mayfield from the soundtrack to the movie Super Fly. "_______'s Dead"

-The second tumor was named from a movie title: Bill and ______'s Excellent Adventure

-The third tumor was named from a catch phrase from the original Star Trek tv show. One of the characters used to say this line all the time... "Dammit _____!"

So... hopefully you can figure out the answers and win those great prizes from Hard Rock Tampa. And if you really can't figure it out... check this out: [So there's more to catch up on]

How Am I Doing?

I’d have to say I have no pain and feel pretty good but I am very nervous about what the next day might bring. A couple of my bc friends have turned jaundice recently, a sign that their livers are failing. So every morning I wake up and it’s a look in the mirror and in the toilet. Jaundiced skin and dark urine are the common signs with liver failure. 

Of course this has left me feeling agitated and very anxious. The silly part is that I’m too afraid to ask the Onc if I’m even close to needing to worry about the metastasis in my liver. 

My energy level is good but I as I tell everyone, I’m nowhere near the spunky person I once was. My appetite is very good. Regarding sleep, I nap just about every afternoon now but I’m also up a bit later in the evening. I’m thinking of trying to cut the afternoon nap out and go to bed earlier. 

So all in all I’d say my body is doing well but I need to calm my mind a bit.

I have a dream...

MLK on August 28, 1963

In 1963, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave a speech in Washington, DC in which he spelled out his dreams for racial equality for our nation. That speech moved so many people to realize that we had a lot of work to do to move from where we were at that time, to a place where we could stand shoulder to shoulder in solidarity.

Well... I have a dream today. It is 2010 and we have accomplished a lot in our time on this rock. But we have so far to go. I have a dream that one day soon, the words "you have cancer" will not be heard by anyone. I have a dream that the nightmares of chemotherapy and mastectomies will be relegated to the "old days". I have a dream that one day a woman will not be faced with the choice between saving her life and saving her fertility.

Yes, those are my dreams tonight. I dream that the causes of breast cancer will be found and that instead of teaching women to be prepared for it just in case... we can say with no equivocation that if you do this or don't do that you will never get breast cancer. I have a dream that one day our wonderful government will get on the good foot and  take a stand against all of the environmental toxins in our food and our cosmetics and our lives in general... and say enough. I have that dream.

I know that this world is not perfect and that many times we will go through things because it is our turn to deal with something... but I'm dreaming right now that while I had to make hard choices and put my trust in the hands of my medical team... my daughter and her daughter and her daughter's daughter will not. That they will read my story and realize that they are so blessed to not have to face this monster.

I have a dream that all of the millions of women and men who are living survivors of breast cancer... that all of my pink ribbon brothers and sisters... will rise up and say NO MORE. We want a cure and we want it now. I have a dream that a sea of pink will cover this earth and with it bring on the dawn of a new day where we are told the absolute truth about breast cancer and all cancers. That we won't fear backlash from our employers or our insurance providers because we were unlucky in the cancer lottery. I dare to dream that one day I won't have a job talking and writing about breast cancer because it won't be a part of our lives.

But until the day that my dreams come true... I plan to keep talking, to keep writing, to keep praying and most of all to keep believing that some day, one day... all of these tears will be worth it. I pray that my brothers and sisters who have lost their lives to breast cancer will continue to be angels for those of us still fighting this monster. And I pray and I dream... that one day I will open my eyes and never shed another tear because of breast cancer.

Dream with me.

More Clinical Trial Questions

Friday afternoon the research nurse called me at home and we chatted about last Monday’s appointment with my trials Onc. We went into great detail about my health history ... did I ever have any heart problems like heart attack, stroke, chest pain, blood clots, did I ever have high blood pressure, have trouble with bleeding ... anywhere. Have I had surgery lately, how was my energy level, what medications I’m on, namely did I take daily aspirin, blood pressure meds and a few more that I just don’t remember right now. Thankfully my answer was no to all questions.

Then we scheduled my physical examination at the clinic; it’s on October 15. It will be six hours long and will include a whole series of scans and tests. The nurse also said she’ll talk to the Onc about getting my PICC line removed. I said, maybe we should hold off on that ‘till I’m approved for the trial drug before we yank that thing out. Good idea she said.

To help keep me occupied that day, I’m gonna take my smart phone with me to surf the Net and maybe even post my first remote blog. I’ll see how it all goes.

I sort of skipped my cancer-versary this year

My cancer-versary has passed. The actual date is in late July. I count my cancer-versary on the day that I actually heard the words "you have cancer". The day I received verbal confirmation that the lump I found a few weeks before was cancerous. Two years later and it still is one of the clearest memories I have of myself. I intended to celebrate the date. But it actually sort of slipped my mind.

I remembered it before the date arrived but I could not decide on a way to celebrate it. So, I pushed it to the back of my mind and didn't focus on it. Next thing I know... it was weeks beyond the date and I still had not acknowledged it or celebrated it. Last year, I forced myself to celebrate it. I wanted to be sure that I replaced the bad feelings that I had about my cancer with good feelings about my survival. But this year, I just had too much on my mind and I could not focus on something fun and frivolous.

So... now its many months later and I'm still a little weirded out that I skipped the date and the celebration. I think part of the problem is the date I chose to celebrate. Instead of celebrating the day I learned that I had cancer... maybe I should celebrate the day that I learned I didn't have cancer anymore. That was sometime in January 2009. I'll have to look through my notebook for the actual date.

I never actually heard my oncologist say "you're in remission" but he did say that there was no evidence of cancer in my body. And the surgeon who performed my mastectomy was super excited that when he removed my breast, there were no tumors found.

Sigh. Wow.

Just remembering that put me in a tight spot emotionally. I wanted my breast back as soon as he told me that. (laughs) I thought that they had all made some sort of huge error and I just wanted my body parts back... but of course, you can't reattach it once its gone. Which is a shame actually.

At any rate... for my followers who are survivors... do you celebrate your cancer-versary? And if so, how? I need some ideas.

Cancer Treatment Centers of America Webinar

I’ve been asked to share a bit of info with you ...

On Wednesday, September 29, at 6:00 PM EST, Cancer Treatments Centers of America are hosting a live webinar titled, Radiation Breakthrough: New Hope in Single Dose. It is about a new and innovative technology that helps cancer patients get well sooner and essentially get back to their lives more quickly. It’s called Intraoperative Radiation Therapy (IORT) using the Novac7 technology and it allows a single dose of radiation to be administered to a tumor bed during the time of surgery, often eliminating weeks of outpatient radiation treatments.

In this one-hour webinar, you will: : 

• Hear directly from the doctors who were the first in the United States to use this technology (Steven Standiford, MD, FACS, National Director of Surgical Oncology at CTCA; and Pablo Lavagnini, MD, Director of Radiation Oncology at CTCA) ** At the end of the webinar, Dr. Standiford and Dr. Lavagnini will be taking questions live
• Learn what IORT is and how it works
• Learn who is candidate for IORT
• Hear how IORT benefits patients from both clinical and quality of life perspectives 

To register for the event please visit www.cancercenter.com/webinar. Registration will be open until one hour prior to the event.

My first PINKTOBER! contest

Alrighty... my secret is out... I'm a rock chick! (laughs) No, not really. I'm not truly a rocker chick but I do like the spit and fire that rockstars have. So imagine my surprise when I was contacted by Hard Rock Tampa to talk about their breast cancer awareness campaign. I have "arrived" at my own level of rockstar fabulous-ness!! Yes!

If you're planning to be in Tampa in Pinktober! stop by the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Tampa and check out their specials. The money raised will go towards the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. This is the third year for this campaign and Hard Rock Tampa will donate 25 percent of the proceeds from its Pinktober “Pink Sheets” guest room bookings, 75 percent of the retail price of limited edition collectible Pinktober Hard Rock pins, and 15 percent from the sales of collectible Hard Rock Pinktobercharm bracelets, t-shirts, leather vests, sleepwear, travel mugs, bandanas, and pink-hued guitar-embossed “Sleep Like A Rock” bedding.


The hotel has a few limited availability “Pink Sheets Rooms” available at no additional cost. In addition to having 25 percent of their room rate donated to BCRF, the guest will also receive a complimentary commemorative Hard Rock pin. The select guestrooms will also be supplied with special collectible Pinktoberbathrobes that can be purchased in the Body Rock Spa and Seminole Hard Rock Retail Store, with a portion of the proceeds donated to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

You can also check out the hotel bars throughout October and enjoy some of the "Pink-tini" cocktails... partial proceeds from those purchases will also be donated to BCRF.

In light of this wonderful campaign and idea... I'm going to have a contest and give away a few prizes (supplied by Hard Rock). Pictures of the prizes are below -- a cute little doggy-teddy bear, a pocket umbrella and a survival kit.

To enter the contest, just write your response to the contest question in the comments section of the blog. It HAS to be in the comments section or it doesn't count. In the case of more than one correct (winning) answer, the winners will be randomly chosen from the group of winners. The contest will close on: Friday, October 1st, 2010 at midnight EST. Two winners will be chosen and they will receive one of each item (stuffed animal, umbrella, and survival kit). You will have to supply a mailing address (after you win) in order to receive the prize.

Got it? Ready? Here we go:

There's only one question:

Name the three tumors that were found in my breast.

That's it. Please put your answers in the comment section of the blog. And good luck!

(clapping!) I am so excited... my first blog contest. :)
Yay!

http://www.seminolehardrocktampa.com/

Do you think about breast cancer every day?

Someone asked the question on facebook whether a day went by when you didn't think about breast cancer. My answer was no.

While I may not look like the sister in this photograph (one breast,  and one large mastectomy scar, with a visible port and a bald head from chemo)... I still SEE that sister when I look in the mirror. I still feel like that sister when something aches or bothers me and I wonder whether it is a side effect of the cancer or the treatment or the surgeries... of if its a sign of old age, lack of movement, or laziness. When I question my lack of appetite because I'm not sure if I'm not hungry because I'm sick or something... or I'm so overly concerned with losing weight that I refuse to eat many days. Radiation therapy caused my body to swell and puff in ways I didn't expect. My weight has fluctuated so much over the past two years, that I constantly worry about how I look now. The last thing I want to do is to appear sick -- in any way -- to other people.

Because I write this blog and constantly talk about my experiences... breast cancer is always near the forefront of my thoughts. But, not in the same way as two years ago. Or even one year ago. Coming to the end of the treatment does have its benefits, including being able to feel joy even when you still carry the ghost of breast cancer in your heart.

One of my absolute FAV-O-RITE breast cancer survivors recently stated that she isn't afraid of anything because the scariest thing to her was learning that she had breast cancer. Once she defeated that beast, she became invincible. That kind of strength in spirit is inspiring to me. I cannot say that I don't have fears. I do. Everyday. But I push through them...because I realize that they won't kill me. If breast cancer didn't do that then surely bill collectors won't drive me there either. (laughs) Or my pitiful dating life. (which by the way is looking up these days...)

All that to say... it doesn't ever go away. The thoughts don't. But you can still live with them and still function... and still blossom.

Be More Positive … Arggg!

Yesterday I visited my Chiro to have my tight calves stretched and massaged. After some small talk he said, I sure can see that you are being more positive … referring to my attitude dealing with cancer … I guess.

Of course the hair on the back of my neck stood up because I’ve heard more than enough times that I should try and be more positive … so just the sound of the word makes me defensive. Anyways, I said yes I probably am but that is likely because I haven’t had chemo in a couple of months and I’m feeling more like my old self. My energy is up, the world isn’t so foggy.

I need to rant … When you are on chemo; you’re way too tired to put on a smiley face for everyone. That doesn’t mean you are a negative person. It’s just means that putting on a false front for the world is not a priority. Most times, it’s that simple.

Canadian Cancer Society ~ Edmonton & Area Volunteer Opportunities

As per their website, the CCS is looking for volunteers …

Get involved! Volunteer with the Canadian Cancer Society and make a difference.

The ability to help is one of the most rewarding experiences in life. And one of the most effective ways of helping people fight cancer is by volunteering your time and talents. By choosing to join forces with us in this struggle, you can make a significant difference in your community.

Jail-N-Bail - October 20 and 21, 2010

Being on the wrong side of the law for the right cause is what it's all about during the Canadian Cancer Society Jail-N-Bail. It’s all in good fun and it’s for a great cause. To maintain law and order during Jail-N-Bail, the Canadian Cancer Society is looking for volunteers.

Volunteer drivers

As a volunteer driver you will pick patients up from their home and take them to the Cross Cancer Institute for treatment appointments.

CancerConnection - Peer support volunteers

CancerConnection is a telephone peer support program that matches cancer patients and caregivers with survivors and others who have had similar cancer journeys. Volunteers are required on an ongoing basis to provide emotional support to newly diagnosed cancer patients.

For more information about volunteering opportunities with us, please contact Hayley Orton, Volunteer Resources Coordinator at (780) 437-8418 or by e-mail at hayley.orton@cancer.ab.ca.

Another Onc Appointment

Yesterday I had an appointment with my new trials Onc. The app was very short. He asked me if I had read the consent form for the proposed study drug … I said yes. And then he asked if I had any questions. I said no and he said are you sure? … and I said yes.

That was pretty well it. He said the research nurse would get a hold of me to witness signing the consent forms. Ugg! even more waiting to get this show on the road.

These appointments cause so much stress and coming out of this one with so little just sucks .. ok, ok, I’m a little low on patience right now.

The other day, my knees buckled...

I received some news that nearly broke me the other day. Someone I love dearly just found out that her breast cancer has returned. When I heard the news... my knees buckled. It took a minute for the full impact of what was shared actually hit me. But once it did... my knees buckled and I fell to the side of my bed and cried.

I wailed. I sobbed. My heart felt like it expanded and then cracked into a million little pieces. This woman means a lot to me (I'm being purposely vague because I'm not sure who else knows this news) and one of our last conversations was about how she had just reached her 5 year mark (surviving-5-years-after-breast-cancer)  and we were excited and happy. I remember big smiles and hugs when she told me.

I was happy for her because her good health made it more real that I would have good health. If she's okay... then I'm going to be okay.

But now, she's not okay. When I say that my knees buckled... I mean that everything started swimming around me, I lost focus, I lost the ability to stand... my chest started heaving... I completely lost it for a moment. I crawled back into bed and just cried. I cried for her. I cried for myself. I cried for all the other pink ribbon sisters out there who have heard similar news and just wondered "why me, why again?"... Mostly, I cried for myself though.

Because, just like many of my readers gain strength from the words that I share here... I gain strength from the women walking this path before me. As I see them continuing to walk into their futures, I feel more confident that my future will be just as good. Their return to health and vitality gives me permission to believe that I will be just fine. And when someone you love finds out that the battle isn't over... you get scared.

I am scared.

Shout Out To ~ Alberta Caregivers Association Convention

The convention is an opportunity for caregivers, and the individuals and agencies who work with caregivers, to contribute their experiences and expertise in the development of a provincial caregiver strategy.

As per their website …

We are an organization of caregivers for caregivers that helps them maintain their own well-being over the caregiving journey. We offer information, education, support, networking, advocacy, and community development to make caregivers' lives less difficult.

The ACGA will be holding a Caregivers Convention in Edmonton on October 22, 2010 and in Calgary on October 29, 2010. 

You should consider attending, if you:

• have experienced or witnessed the frustration, exhaustion, and rewards of providing care for a loved one
• have had difficulties finding or accessing services and supports for caregivers
• would like to see an Alberta where caregivers are recognized, valued and supported

For more information about the convention visit:

http://www.albertacaregivers.org/register_convention2010.html

Another Angel Is In Heaven

My friend Claudette, a fellow cancer fighter passed away late Friday evening.

I met Claudette about a year ago at a cancer support group. The class was about to begin when I said, I’m going to get a coffee before we get started and this lady jumped up and said I’m going to get one too. It didn’t take long before we got to know each other quit well. Claudette was a wonderful, outgoing lady in her early 60’s, who 6 months earlier been diagnosed with stage 4 bile duct cancer and that chemotherapy and radiation were not an option.

With our love of a good cup of coffee, it didn’t take long before we started meeting weekly at the local Second Cup. We felt really comfortable with each and chatted about everything … nothing was off limits.

Claudette was an amazing cook and one of the things she wanted to do before she died was to collect all her recipes and compile a recipe book that she could pass on to her children. I remember her bringing a laptop to coffee and we had a look at her first draft. She had about 150 recipes all grouped by category. She had gone to the internet and found pictures to go with each one. It was quite the accomplishment. She was so proud and when the final version came back from the printer, she was just beaming. 

As Claudette became weaker, I started visiting her at home. I fondly remember sitting with her in her beautiful back yard overlooking the ravine. It was always picture perfect with blooming flowers, birds flying in and out of the bird bath and the calming sounds of a water fountain. Her backyard was even featured in a popular magazine. 

These last four months have been difficult for Claudette; as her tumors grew, she had to go in for more and more procedures. Thankfully that is all over now and she will not suffer any more.

Rest in peace my coffee buddy.

Volunteer Appreciation Dinner and Awards

I'm a volunteer and last night D and I attended the Canadian Cancer Society volunteer appreciation dinner. The event honored nearly 200 volunteers from Edmonton and area. 

The event was held at the Old Timers Log Cabin which created a beautiful and natural atmosphere that made for a really nice evening. The program started off with a delicious buffet dinner which included my favorite Ukrainian dishes, perogies and cabbage rolls. They're oh so good. After a short welcome from Heather Halpenny, a board member and breast cancer survivor, we listened to Dr. Thomas Simmen, a researcher at the University of Alberta. He talked about how complex the battle against cancer really is. Having said that, we are making great progress with survival rates increasing each year.

The next part of the program was about honoring the volunteers. We all were recognized for the amount of time volunteered … everything from a few weeks to many years. People were given a certificate of appreciation or a beautiful framed picture. It was so very heartwarming to be in a room filled with so many kind and giving people.

At the end of the evening, we were shown a 12 minute video titled Christine’s Fight. It was so frank and moving that I’ve included it here.

Comedy Night for Cancer

Last night two friends B & D and my D & I went out to the 2nd annual Don Neil’s Comedy Night in Sherwood Park, just east of Edmonton. We got there in time to buy some raffle tickets and to have a look at some of the silent auction items available. They had about 30 really nice items available, everything from dinner for 12 at the Canadian Brew House to jewelry, to gift certificates. As we were walking around the foyer, we came across a black labrador retriever. We later found out it was a therapy dog called Lando along with his handler Carla Rugg, a music therapist. They team up to offer music therapy to cancer patients at the Norwood Palliative Care Center.

The MC for the evening was Don’s brother Graham Neil who started this event in memory of his brother Don who passed away from cancer last year. The evening began with a funny musical act called The Be Arthurs. Three guys dressed in bright zany outfits … and man could they play and sing. Then we were entertained by a whole slew of local volunteer comedians including Andrew Grose, Howie Miller, Atomic Improv, Sean Lecomber and Lars Calleou. Sure was entertaining to hear jokes about things going on around our city. 

The show was a good 3 hours long and I have to say, we enjoyed every minute of it.

The Wig Luncheon

 If you live in or near Richmond, and are available next week... please consider coming to the Wig Luncheon. The event will be an opportunity to donate wigs (new or gently used) to breast cancer patients who may need them because of their treatment. It is also a fundraiser that will raise funds to provide free mammograms for women in Virginia.


These wonderful folks have asked me to come down and tell my story about My Fabulous Boobies and the journey with breast cancer. I am truly looking forward to the event.

If you can make it, I'd love to see you there.

Sleepy Fall Weather

Yesterday morning I had an appointment with my chiropractor and then in the afternoon I had coffee with the BC group. Generally I look forward to doing both but these days the only thing on my mind is … I want to nap.

When I was at the chiropractor’s getting my calves stretched and massaged, I tried to make small talk with the Doc but I eventually said to him, you know what, I could just fall asleep right here on this table. He laughed and said everyone is walking around the office yawning. He said it’s just that time of the year. Hey … it’s not just me.

I find the early darkness and cooler temperature of fall make for great sleeps at night. I just wish I wasn’t so sleepy during the day.

I didn't know that "Boobies" was a bad word

I read an article recently about some high school kids who are banned from wearing a rubber bracelet at school because it has the word "boobies" on it. The "Keep A Breast" foundation sells various items to promote breast cancer awareness and to raise money for breast cancer education for young people. Since they are based on the west coast, they seem to have targeted various high schools up and down the coast to bring their special brand of art-education-advocacy to young people. Their goal is to raise awareness, teach preventative measures and generally educate young people about breast cancer.

Noble goal, right? Well... seems that some parents and school administrators have decided that the word "boobies" is simply offensive. Of course, you know that when I read this story I cringed. I mean... my blog is named "My Fabulous Boobies" right? Soooo... ya know. I think the word is funny and sort of cool. Yes, I know it is a bit risque but offensive? That never crossed my mind at all.

I have learned since I've been keeping this blog that the word is definitely one that conjures interesting web site choices on an internet search. I used to be dismayed by that when I looked at the stats for my blog. And then after awhile it dawned on me... that if people were searching for sites that objectified female breasts and ended up stumbling upon my little blog... well, that was wonderful! One more opportunity to bring awareness to breast cancer.

I know that kids are silly. I know that they will burst into a fit of giggles and raunchy behavior over the most simplistic things. However... I also know that breast cancer does strike young women. I know that very often young women don't think that breast cancer is something they should be concerned about. I know that until a young man experiences someone in his immediate circle dealing with breast cancer, he probably never gives it a thought. I would think that administrators and parents would be able to see a larger picture than "its disruptive" and allow the students to show their support for breast cancer awareness.

I learned about Keep A Breast because I saw a young man on the subway one day sporting one of their bracelets. Because I had been toying with the idea of creating "My Fabulous Boobies" bracelets, I was stunned and surprised. I practically chased him off the train so that I could get a better look at the bracelet and hopefully learn what organization was behind this. He informed me that he had received it at a breast cancer awareness event at his job and he wore it faithfully... mostly because it was funny but also because it had a larger meaning.

Aaahhhh... it did what it was supposed to do.

I am planning to create similar bracelets for "My Fabulous Boobies" (and t-shirts and other items as well). I am not a parent and maybe because I'm an old, single lady, I don't get what the hoopla is all about. But I really don't. (shrug)  I think that raising awareness about breast cancer is a wonderful thing, especially when its done in non-conventional ways.

The bracelets are innocent enough to me. But tell me what do you think? I really want to know.

Cancer Video … Go Nads!

The Canadian Cancer Society asks men this question …

How well do you know your equipment?

Watch this three and half minute video on testicular cancer. Way too funny!

What does it mean to be a cancer survivor?

Thanks to Twitter and Facebook, I have connected with a wide group of breast cancer friends all across the globe. Many are bloggers like me and reading their words about their journey with breast cancer inspires me, makes me want to be better, live better and just enjoy life. I recently read an old post one one of those blogs... and it really made me think for a long time.

I am a breast cancer survivor.

Before my diagnosis I thought those words were just carefully crafted branding terms... I did not realize that they actually provide power and strength to the people who wear them proudly. There are a lot of people who have completed cancer treatment and do not choose to accept the label of "survivor". They have their reasons and because everyone's journey is uniquely theirs, I respect that. But Nicole... has warmly embraced the talisman of "breast cancer survivor" in her world.

Here's why:  I don't care where I am... or what I'm doing. I don't care whether I am laughing with tears streaming down my face or quietly reflecting or walking the dog... my breast cancer experience is with me. It only takes a millisecond for me to shift gears and still feel the plastic of the reclining chairs at the cancer center where I took my chemotherapy for months and months. It only takes an absent-minded stroke across my port scar on my chest to remind me that I am a battle-scarred veteran. I don't wear pink every day, and I don't wear my pink ribbon pin everyday... but without any labels, or brands or colors... I wear that armor that says... I'm here because I fought to be here.

I have no idea what it is like to be a military veteran. I have no idea what it is like to experience war, to see that sort of death and destruction up close and personal. But I can tell you what it feels like to walk into a large and crowded room with seats that remind you of recliners but slightly different, slightly less comfortable. To see pouches of medicine hanging on steel poles beside every chair... and to see tubes going into the chests or arms of old people, young people, black people, white people, asian people, latino... all sick and trying to get well. I can tell you what it feels like to walk into that room and realize that your learning curve has been so sharp that you can almost tell how far along someone is in their treatment just by looking at their hair (or lack of), the color of their skin and the way that they move. There is a look... a knowing that cancer patients and survivors share and recognize almost immediately. I will never look at a chest scar the same way. I will always wonder what happened, how they are feeling now.

I have gained empathy in levels that I never could have imagined before this. I have also learned patience and courage. I am comfortable with my fears now. I know that they can't kill me... thought they distract me from the bigger picture, the larger efforts of my life. I know that I can rest with them or push past them... the choice is always mine. Honestly speaking... some days I curl up with my fears and just explore them. And other days, I simply don't give them room to latch on to anything in my mind.

In case you wanted to know: 

“A cancer survivor,” ... “is a term used to describe anyone who has been diagnosed with cancer as well as caregivers and loved ones of those diagnosed with the disease.” The term survivorship was first coined in 1985, but was expanded to include family members and caregivers since “no one can survive cancer alone.”

...the importance of a strong support system because as a cancer survivor, “the most benign things will scare you to death.” She relayed a story about how she recently thought a rough spot on her neck may have been a skin cancer metastasis, when it was only a curling iron burn.  (taken from Journeying beyond breast cancer)

When I met with my therapist some months ago to catch up and check in and just make sure that I wasn't losing my mind... she and I talked about post traumatic stress disorder. These days, we hear a lot about PTSD in relation to the soldiers returning from war. But those of us who have battled and scrapped and cried and fought to get through cancer treatment... often have to deal with this disorder too. When you're jumpy or constantly anxious... always worried or concerned that every little thing could mean a recurrence of your cancer... you could very well be struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder.

In the beginning, it was very difficult for me to accept the label of survivor. I felt like a fraud because I couldn't be a survivor if I was still in treatment. A survivor was someone (in my eyes) who had gone through the fire and come out on the other side. While I was riding through the storm, I felt like I had no name... I was just "me" struggling to get back to normal. And now that I've sort of arrived back at normal (though honestly, it feels like anything but that)... I can accept and even feel some joy that I am a survivor. I willingly wear my pink survivor t-shirts in public now. I am comfortable talking with strangers about what I've been through, what my scars are from (though not always). For me... the label SURVIVOR is truly a talisman with sacred powers. When I think of myself in those terms, I am reminded of the strength that I had and the strength that millions of other people have to dig deep within themselves and simply push forward.

I had to take a few days off from the blog because I've been hearing hard news lately of survivors who have lost their final battles with cancer. And there is no describing how much it hurts me every time someone I know tells me that someone they loved is gone because of cancer. The pain of loss to cancer is a deep one. I suspect (and hope) that as more time elapses it won't hurt as much, won't slow me down as often. But honestly, its like constantly hearing bullets whizzing by. You keep wondering when it will be your day and your friends and family feeling that deep pain.

But, I shake it off after awhile... and I pick up my mental talisman of SURVIVOR and I push forward. So, this post is my push... I know that millions of us are struggling with this disease right now. I know that a lot of us won't finish this year. But I know that until its my time... I will be here. And that's just the way that it is.

What does it mean to be a survivor?

It means that you are frightened. It means that you are optimistic. It means that you are realistic. It means that your faith is deeper, your connection to the rest of the world is deeper. Things in your body may be different... which changes who you are but it is a refining of who you can be. It... is your new state of being. It means that you (or someone you love) went through hell and came out on the other side. You're different but you're better in a lot of ways.

Survivor.

Just saying it brings me a little more peace than I had a few moments ago.