not much to write about.

Today was the first day that I didn't have to go to radiation. I slept late, and basically did a lot of nothing. I tried to reschedule an echocardiogram that I have scheduled for tomorrow. But that didn't go so well. I will have to try again tomorrow.

I am supposed to have my heart tested every 3 months now to make sure that the medication and treatment isn't having an adverse affect on it. I'm a few months overdue. My oncologist didn't seem too perturbed about that but I definitely need to get it done before I see him again in 6 weeks.

Scheduling appointments seems to be my new job. I think that I will go to see a physical therapist and try to work on regaining the full range of motion in my left arm. I don't know if my thinking is correct but I feel that I should work on that arm before going into my reconstruction surgery. I am not, however, looking forward to trying to squeeze one more thing into my schedule.

I hope to return to work very soon. Its been a nice vacation (laughs) but I think its time to go back to the real world. I am so much more tentative about things that I readily did previously. Like riding the metro (the subway) and going places alone. I have become afraid of being out by myself. I worry that I may faint or otherwise lose my strength and be stranded away from home and safety. I don't go out very much now. And when I do, I rarely travel alone. I need to move past this fear. Its really important.

I am working on the new blog -- it is slow and tedious work. I'm not sure when it will be ready for the great reveal. But I think it may be several weeks from now. There are two blogger conferences that I would like to attend this year and if I can't get it together with the fear of travelling alone, its going to be a difficult journey for me.

(say a prayer)

I was a little rebellious today... I did not bandage my skin wounds all day. I wanted the area to breathe and get some air for a change. As a result, when I went to put my antibiotic creme on tonight the raw skin had started to crust over. I'm sure there is a good medical term but I don't know what it is. It wasn't a scab, but I'm hoping that it means that the healing is taking place. If I don't have new skin by the time I get to Miami... its going to be a difficult weekend for me. :)

I thought a lot about Robin and death today. And I've been considering that I need to execute a will -- not that I really have much of anything to distribute to others -- and also work out general ideas about my funeral. It will happen one day -- hopefully many decades from now -- so I want my family to be able to follow my wishes with ease. One less burden for them to carry.

My weight has been holding steady for the past few weeks. I am really pleased with that. My appetite is fine and my tastebuds are completely back to normal. It is wonderful. I am going to enjoy this simple joy for as long as I can. My hot flashes are still on-going but they have been a little milder lately. My hair is growing back and so are my nails. My next task is to pamper my skin back to its glory. It is rather dry right now and very sensitive.

I am still thinking about the reconstruction surgery and wondering what decision I will ultimately make. I still do not see the advantage to removing my right breast. However, I am still thinking and praying about it. Somewhere there is a right choice for me.

That's it for today...