One thing that I'm trying to absorb is to stop fighting against the slowing down process. Which is funny because anyone who knows me knows that I don't move fast... at all. Yet, I guess not moving fast doesn't equal not thinking fast. And I definitely do that... think fast, think long, and over-analyze. Everything. But like I said, I'm working on understanding the beauty of slowing down. Slowing way down.
For example, before cancer, taking a long soaking bath was a luxury of time and indulgence that I didn't engage in too often. Usually, in a rush to do something or go somewhere a long shower would often suffice as my me-time bath indulgence. Now... taking a soak is something my body craves several times a week. Its time that I could spend doing other things... but, why? When I was in chemotherapy, soaking in an epsom salt bath helped to draw out some of the toxins in my body and also provided relief to my aching muscles and joints. When I was in radiation therapy, it helped me ease into sleep and provided much needed moisture into my skin. Now... it does all of that and more. I think I get something from the actual soak and also from the time alone away from technology, away from the puppy... its time where I can pray and talk to God, read a book or just cry if something is bothering me. Its valuable me-time... AND it helps me heal. Win-win.
I've never had a professional massage in my life. I plan to change that pretty soon. However, in the meantime, I have learned to lightly massage myself as I apply the various creams and lotions to my skin to help with my scars. I apply cocoa butter and vitamin E oil to my skin every day -- sometimes twice a day -- and I rub/massage the scars lightly as I apply them. I plan to switch from the Palmer's cocoa butter (I think it has too many "additives") as soon as the organic, unrefined shea butter I ordered arrives.
Shea butter is actually believed to be better for healing scars and better for your skin than cocoa butter. Although I ordered my shea butter on-line, I have learned that finding organic, unrefined shea butter is not that difficult. If you find yourself in need of some, look for an African market in your community... they are known to carry them. Also, if you're really fortunate, you may find it at an organic market or even an open-air flea market as well.
The thing about shea butter... well, honestly about all products that you put on your skin... is that you have to do your research and you have to read the ingredient list. Your skin is the largest organ on your body, so whatever you put on your skin, you're putting in your body. Just as you have you be careful about what you eat, you have to also be aware of what you're putting on your skin. Less is better, I think. A lot of the additives that are in our lotions and creams are linked to toxins that are not good for you. At this point in the journey, I'm trying to reduce risks everywhere that I can so its organic and unrefined shea butter for me.
Highly refined shea butter is processed with chemicals in order to increase the yield. This process also manages to strip the shea butter of some of its healing properties. You have to be aware and do your homework. The information is out there. Although a year ago, I didn't think that I would get on the organic, all-natural band wagon... I'm starting to realize that the extra cost and additional time that it takes to find and purchase these natural products only benefits me in the long run. And more importantly, I am worth it.
Right now, I have scars zipping all around my body... across my lower belly, and around my new breast. I also have the scar where my port was implanted (which will probably be made worse once its removed) and all the little knicks on my arms from the multiple IV's that I've had from my hospital visits in the past year. Once upon a time, my skin was smooth and practically blemish-free... I plan to get back to that same smooth creaminess again.
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