I saw the geneticist today to get my results from the test for the BRCA1 and BRCA2 gene. Because my mood has been so shady, today's appointment was the second one -- I skipped the first one last week and I nearly skipped this one. Fear of financial retribution from my insurance company (meaning, I was worried that they would charge me a fee for continuing to miss appointments) was the ultimate motivator to go to the hospital.
My plastic surgeon was very adamant about me getting the testing done because she was concerned (I think) that I wasn't really gung-ho about removing my other breast. With positive test results, my entire course of treatment would have shifted a bit -- including a very strong suggestion to proactively remove my second breast as a matter of caution.
Well, the results show that I am not a carrier of either of the known breast cancer genes. Like most of the women and men in the world struggling with breast cancer... I have no hereditary link to my cancer. Based on the previous consultation with the geneticist, it was more likely than not that I would not have it. I am relieved to be honest.
Having the breast cancer gene makes you a candidate for either breast cancer or ovarian cancer -- and often both cancers. As a matter of treatment, carriers of these genes are sometimes advised to remove their breasts and/or their ovaries in order to defeat the cancer before it strikes.
What defines me as a woman
This past year has taught me many things. One of which is that I cannot be defined by my body parts. Even though I've known for many years that I'm more than what I look like, it is still an adjustment to consider that there are pieces of your body that are wrong and need treatment and/or removal in order to preserve the whole. So, when I say that I am truly relieved that I do not have to face the option of removing any more parts ... at least not based on these test results... I am TRULY relieved. I trusted my gut instinct that (for me) it was an unnecessary step...and the test results proved me to be right in my decision.
In a way, I envy those women who are so confident in their decision to remove their breasts and keep moving forward. Prior to breast cancer, I had not realized just how much my "fabulous boobies" made me feel like me. They are not perfect, they are not all that perky (well, one is now), they have their own set of issues but all of that imperfection makes them mine. I am grateful to have them, reconstructed and all.
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