Back in November 2010, I was selected (along with several other breast cancer survivors) to participate in a photo shoot for a breast cancer company. As women do when we gather, we laughed and chatted and eventually we shared pieces of our stories with each other. We all were breast cancer survivors. Some of us had only been through it once, while others had fought the disease several times. For some of us breast cancer was our first time dealing with a major illness and others had dealt with other types of cancer and other types of major illnesses.
But, as much as I was a participant, I was also an observer. And as I watched these women in their varying stages of recovery and healing... I found myself wondering how would I react and adapt to life if faced with their circumstances? So... today when I read on the blog of one of these wonderful women, that her breast cancer has returned and is metastasized to her liver... I broke down and wept.
The other day she posted that she was getting her affairs in order. I thought it was an interesting and funny post -- I had not yet realized that she was facing a terminal recurrence -- and considered doing something similar here. And then today, I went back a few posts and realized that she was looking at the finality of her life because of this disease.
Sigh. All the pink ribbons and fundraisers and prayers and good wishes... all the medications and surgeries and treatments... and in the end -- because there will be an end -- it comes down to accepting what is, finding joy in as many things as you can and having dignity (and laughter) when (if) they tell you that there simply isn't anything else that can be done at this point.
I pray that the peace and the grace that she's exhibited in her blog... will be mine if (or when) I'm faced with the same diagnosis.
Please meet my pink ribbon sister Ann: http://www.butdoctorihatepink.com/2011/06/i-owe-you-apology.html
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