One of my favorite R&B artists, Musiq Soulchild, released a video for his latest single, Yes a few months ago. Just before Breast Cancer Awareness month. The video is a tribute to women with breast cancer. Musiq is an Ambassador for Susan G. Komen Foundation Circle of Promise.
The Circle of Promise is an initiative by the Komen Foundation to bring awareness and education directly to African American women. Because of our higher mortality rates with breast cancer, Komen has taken on the challenge to help eradicate some of the fear and ignorance that exists in the black community about breast cancer.
In his music video, Musiq Soulchild sings about a deep and unconditional love... a love that stands through the test of an illness like breast cancer and the changes that it brings (and the fear). For me, this video is affirming and heart wrenching. Affirming because even though I don't currently have a love like this in my life... I do know (and I remain hopeful) that it is possible. And its heart wrenching because the video is simply extremely well done. It is poignant and touching and true. It is the truth of the video... the shame about using a prosthetic, the anger, the fear, the weakness... that makes me cry every time that I watch it. And honestly, I watch this video regularly.
When I started this journey with breast cancer I had a guy by my side. And it did not occur to me that there would come a day when he wasn't there. But that day did come where we went our separate ways... and the pain of that aloneness weighed on my heart heavily. Its been awhile since we broke up and the pain of it is gone. Along with the disappointment. Watching Musiq help her cut her hair, hug her when she was raging, and be there to support her when she fell... was so bittersweet. I think about love a lot. I wonder whether I am lovable as I am. I wonder whether love will find me. And I wonder whether the man I do finally choose to love next... will be able to deal with all of this should the cancer decide to return.
It is that fear of recurrence that makes me hesitant about love. Nobody expects to have to deal with that sort of major life drama. And I constantly worry about the fairness of falling in love with someone knowing that there is no guarantee that the monster won't return. I just don't know. What I do know is that this video is amazing. Musiq has eloquently captured the essence of what love is and what love does in his lyrics. I know that cancer has a way of killing relationships. Any major trauma does. I know so many survivors who got divorced or broke up with long-term partners during their cancer treatment. And every time I think about that... I get sad. But, I also know that some relationships are strengthened because of the cancer. I know that some folks find another path to love, one that takes them through the cancer and into a deeper place that only their partner can understand. I try to keep those positive thoughts in mind when I consider that I just might... want to fall head over heels in love one day with a man as sweet and as kind to me as Musiq was in that video.
I have a lot of love in my heart to give to the right man. I'm ready to love again. Truly ready.
Video: Musiq Soulchild, Yes
Link: Circle of Promise
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