Using your Support System

Yesterday we had our fifth Woman’s Metastatic Cancer Support Group meeting and the discussion centered on support by family and friends. We talked about how you have to put some thought into asking for what you need. Also, unless we are open to accepting help, we may lose out on offers of help.

So G said her freezer is full of casseroles brought by friends and family. The problem is, her appetite is terrible and so the food just sits. Now she says, when someone offers to bring food over, she’ll ask what they are having for supper. If it’s not something that interests her right there and then, she’ll say thank you but not tonite. Of course everyone’s personal situation is different. I don’t think she has a spouse or children at home who might otherwise appreciate a home cooked meal.

At this point G was on a roll … She told the story of how an acquaintance called and said she was coming over with flowers. G said instead of flowers, what I really could use is a coupon for an inside and out car wash. There were a few chuckles and we all agreed that was a great idea … she then said, now, if I could only find someone to go with me and stand at the pump and fill my car with gas, I’d really be happy.

Now there is one woman who is using her support system very well.

My auntie who is also my sister, will be okay

This past weekend was Thanksgiving and I had a wonderful time visiting with my family members who came up for the holiday. One of the guests was my auntie who is also a breast cancer survivor. She was diagnosed with breast cancer 5 years ago, and just as she passed her 5 year mark... she was diagnosed with a recurrence in her other breast.

Her cancer was not advanced as mine -- either occurrence -- and she has not had a mastectomy like I have. But we are now sisters (pink ribbon sisters) as well as auntie and niece. Breast cancer has joined us together in a way that nothing else ever could. We talked about different parts of our journey after dinner on Thursday as we sat around the table (just the girls) talking while the guys watched football. At one point, my mom commented that she hoped to never go through what we've been through. And we both replied... we hope that you don't have to either.

Its not that you can't get through breast cancer... you can. Millions of us do every day. But you lose a bit (ok, a lot) along the way and you're not the same at the end. Which I suppose is the point... but its still unsettling. And the real truth is that not everyone makes it. That's where the fear lies.

It was the first time I've seen her since I heard about her recurrence and it was a relief to see her smile and laugh and be happy. Even as she prepares to start her radiation therapy in the next few days. She was in great spirits and told me that her recurrence was found so early that she won't have to undergo chemotherapy this time. Just radiation treatment.

I was happy to see her, happy to hear her prognosis and just happy all around to spend time with her. But this morning, as I hugged her goodbye... I felt a small twinge in my heart. It never gets easier... It may disappear for awhile -- where you don't think about it every moment of every day -- but whenever I learn that someone has been diagnosed with breast cancer, I shed a tear. Every time.

My auntie will be fine. I am quite confident of that. But, just as I was afraid before I started my treatment, I am concerned for her. Radiation is tough. It tires your body immensely, the burns on your skin are more than unpleasant and its tedious. Every day, for weeks on end... its like a job. And its not a job that you can quit because you don't like it -- well, you could but how risky is that? How smart is that?

Talking to my auntie reminded me of all that I went through over the past two years. Just as I thought I had turned a corner and wasn't emotional about this journey any longer... the reality of all that happened hit me this afternoon like a ton of bricks on my head. The fear, the anger, the confusion... all of it... came rushing back like a strong wind. My prayer for her is that the journey will be easy for her this time, and that they get all of the cancer that is there. My prayer for myself is that I remember that God brought me this far... and I'm going to be okay. My prayer for all of my pink ribbon sisters and brothers (and their families and friends) is that we find a cure for this disease... and soon.

What am I going to eat today?

Each day brings with it a slightly different challenge when it comes to my stomach. I wake up every morning and think what am I going to eat today and how much? And I’m still sticking to simple foods that lessen the cramps in my stomach.

For two weeks now I’m either trotting or stopped up for two or three days at a time. Last week, it was day two without a bm and I said to D should I take something for constipation? He thought no, you haven’t eaten enough to be constipated, wait one more day.

The next day I felt so good that I ate a very plain 6 inch sub sandwich. I guess I wasn’t that good because the trots came shortly afterwards. It was probably too much at one sitting but I was just so hungry for normal food that I didn’t want to stop.

Its the holidays...where will your gift giving dollars go?

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year (besides my birthday, which I feel should be a national holiday). But immediately after Thanksgiving, we push right into the Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa season. The time of year where we shift our focus to gift giving and making people smile... by thanking them for all that they've been to you throughout the year.

Sooo... let me take a quick moment to say that as you're thinking of charities and organizations to give money to as we close out the year... please be sure to do some research and be sure that the organization you send your money to actually spends the money on what they say they will.

Pink for breast cancer is big business. I'd love to say it differently but the truth is that the pink ribbon campaign is a major PR and marketing campaign. Personally, I love the campaign more than I'm disturbed by it. Pink has been one of my favorite colors all of my life. I love the girly-ness of it, the various shades often reflect the varying feelings of femininity that I have at any given moment. From red-hot sexiness of hot pink and fuchsia... to the laid back giggle of soft baby pink... I LOVE PINK. So, like I said... sporting pink things to support breast cancer does not bother me at all.

But what does bother me is that a lot of organizations (large and small) use the promise of pink to unfairly influence consumers into believing that they are far more benevolent than they actually are. There has been a recent brouhaha about the "I Love Boobies" group's actual spending of the money that they have raised from selling their very popular bracelets. ("I love boobies", Huffington Post)

This organization, like many others, only claims to RAISE AWARENESS about the disease. They do donate some of their proceeds to a breast cancer fund but it is not a huge amount in the grand scheme of what they have earned from the production of these bracelets. Again, personally, I'm not upset or angry at what they've done. They haven't actually lied to the public about their intentions. But... that's the rub when it comes to spending money on items that are "pink for the cure"... many of us believe that the money we spend is actually going to help some woman (or man) directly who is struggling with the disease. Sadly, that is rarely the case.

More often than not, these companies use the money to make a nominal donation to an organization which then usually spends the money on indirect ways of supporting the disease. Maybe they make donations to research organizations, or they support groups whose main objective is to teach others about the disease. Both of these things are good... but they may not be what you had in mind when you made your purchase or sent in your donation.

As a survivor, I'm just grateful and thrilled that people care enough to want to help. And that's honest. But I want all of us to be really careful about where we send our support and be sure to do a little work to be sure that we are clear where our money is going and what it is supposed to do.

Everything that's pink will not directly help a sister with breast cancer. So, be sure to read the fine print and know where your money is going. And if you're really concerned and want to help directly, try contacting your local breast cancer center at a local hospital... if they don't take donations, they will know what organizations need funding for low cost or free mammograms and other such direct assistance.

For BC Survivors Traveling by Air

If you have any hidden medical devices like a breast prostheses or a port and are planning to fly, you may want to read this post. Canadian airports have full body scanners and pat-downs but not the issues found in the US. So when you’re traveling south of our border, beware of what’s happening and prepare yourself.

The buzz about the TSA passenger screening at U.S. airports all started after a woman declined to do the full-body scan because of radiation concerns. She was then given the option of a body search instead. Things got uncomfortable when the female agent discovered her breast prosthesis and asked her to pull it out. Another case was where an agent poked and prodded around lady’s port so aggressively, it made it sore and uncomfortable for days.

So to help make air travel just a bit easier, Susan G Komen for the Cure put together some steps you can take as you head to the airport.

CT Scan Do-Over

I had a CT scan on Friday and all when well except that I forgot to fast in the morning. I called and the receptionist and she said to come in anyway. Mid afternoon, after it was all done, I was feeling like everything was going to end up ok.

But noper - I got an email late in the day from my trials nurse telling me I have to do-over my CT scan next week. Darn it; I sort of suspected that they’d want a perfect scan because of the clinical trial drug I’m on. They’re more particular about what they want and how they get it.

I’m quite annoyed with myself for screwing this up. Trying to think back on what I could have done different. All I can say is that it’s been a busy week for me and I truly thought I had nothing scheduled after Thursday … obviously I was wrong. 

So now I’m gonna put notes all over the house reminding me that I need to fast the morning of my scan. Hope that helps this silly brain of mine to remember. I sometimes think I could sure use a personal assistant to help me stay on track with appointments and meds and such.

CT Scan this Morning

As D and I were sitting sipping on our morning coffees, he picked up my Droid phone and checked the calendar events for today. Hey he goes, aren’t you supposed to be having a CT scan today? Whaaaat? … I just finished my second piece of dry toast. I grabbed my folded up appointment list and yup, there it was, clear as day and I should have been fasting.

Anyways, in a panic, I called the clinic and they were really nice about it. She said that the small amount I ate is ok and will have moved along enough in time for my scan. She also said that I wasn’t the first one to forget … that made me feel less of a dumb bunny.

TED Video ~ Dr. David Angus: A New Strategy in the War against Cancer

I first saw this video on fellow cancer blogger Duper’s blog at Ciao Cancer.

A bit about this 24 minute video …

Dr. David Angus, an oncologist, says the death rate of cancer has not changed significantly in 50 years. So a group of researchers are pushing forward with a new approach to treating cancer. They’re bringing in engineering principles and using cross collaboration with mathematicians and physicists to hammer out a cure for cancer.

What a jaw dropping video.

First Lunch with a Cancer Buddy

In 2009 after quitting Taxotere I started feeling better. Both Xeloda and Vinorelbine were much easier to handle and I was feeling like doing something more. I decided to volunteer with the Canadian Cancer Society’s - CancerConnection. C C is a one-on-one peer support for those going through cancer. After my initial training, I would be matched up with women who are having a similar cancer experience and once a week we’d discuss whatever was on their mind.

I did this for about eight months and talked to about six ladies across Western Canada. Unfortunately, I decided to leave earlier this month because my current chemo, Brivanib was giving me too many side effects. I just didn’t have the energy and especially the enthusiasm I felt I needed to continue doing a good job.

Anyways, yesterday I had the wonderful opportunity of meeting one of the gals I used talk to. We decided to meet in person once I left the CancerConnection. M lives about an hour out of town and came in to run some errands.

Finally we had faces to our voices … it felt so good meet her. We still chatted about our cancers and how we were coping with living with our cancer and how we both liked to quiz the Oncs, looking for more meaning in their words. I laughed and said; I used to watch the Oncs face when s/he’d say something and wonder why that eye brow went up just as they said that. Was this sugar coating or telling it like it is? Of course we both came to the conclusion that too much analysis is not good.

We enjoyed our nice lunch together and plan to do it again soon.

Thanksgiving 2010 -- Finally, grateful for the journey...

Two years ago, I spent Thanksgiving with my parents (just the three of us). Thanksgiving was two months into my four month long chemotherapy treatment. I was too tired, too weak and immune-system compromised to be around my extended family. It was a tough time, but my spirits were relatively high. (Thanksgiving 2008)

So much has changed in two years. I am no longer bald -- well, not chemo bald. I am sporting an uber-short cut but its purely by choice and I'm loving it. I am no longer the constantly weepy, taste-challenged woman who could not accept that breast cancer had showed up in my body. I am in remission, on tamoxifen and looking forward to shifting gears again in my life in order to pursue joy and happiness in a million ways.

Here's the thing though... I have finally reached the point (I believe) where I am truly grateful for this journey with breast cancer. The past two years have shown me my vulnerabilities in a way that I really never thought about. And taught me that I am so much stronger than I ever, EVER imagined. I know that I won't live forever, that my health (like everyone else's) is fragile. I know that life can and will change in a moment... and the only thing you can do is roll with the punches and keep fighting. I know that the only failure is giving up. And even if you lose, as long as you keep swinging you're always a winner.

I am grateful. Immensely, deeply and forever grateful. God gave me a burden that I simply never thought I would be able to handle -- if it happened to a loved one. The thought of it happening to me was merely unthinkable. And yet, two years later... I stand here proud of myself... because I made it. I survived. I am happy. I am blessed. I am fortunate. I am alive.

So, this Thanksgiving I thank God for showing me what He knew that I was made of... and for blessing me to get through it, be changed by it but not defeated.

Happy Thanksgiving!

CHOMP + ROLL!

No cost to enter. Just Chomp + Roll to your heart's delight.

Proceeds from all pizza sales will go to support theMOVE's powerful work getting folks out onto farms, to connect them with the systems that sustain us daily. They'll also be raffling off prizes and awarding the highest score of the night with a Flatbread/Sacco's gift card! Please check out the facebook invite + RSVP if you can make it.

Chomp + Roll!
when: Tue 11/30
where: Flatbread/Sacco's @ 45 Day St / Somerville
cost: no cost to enter

24 hrs in Review

After several decent nites sleep, Sunday’s sleep was just plain lousy… intense dreams and waking up every few hours. Arrggg! And to top that all off, I had to wake up Monday a little early to take my weekly prescription of ‘bone harder’ … 70mgs of Alendronate. It’s only one pill and it must be taken on an empty stomach and then no food for an hour.

After taking all my other meds and breakfast, I was not feeling well. I auto-posted my blog for 11:30 and went back to bed. I slept for over an hour and woke up feeling sluggish and even more tired. Ok regardless, I had to get up and get going because my mets support group meeting was starting shortly.

The weather here has turned cold -18C 0F. Fortunately for me, D offered to drive because I tell ya, having a driver to chauffeur me around has been just the best. D picked me up a couple of hours later and I was back home snuggling in my blanket. 

Last night's sleep was better.

Smoothies Really Help

At the suggestion of Angela, a fellow blogger at finding a way who said, try making smoothies to ease indigestion and eat better. This sounded like such a great idea; I went out and bought one of those Magic Bullet blenders. I selected this one because it’s simple to clean, has extra cups, it’s smaller than most others, takes very little room on the counter and the price is right. I’ve wanted to start drinking juice for quite a while now but found out that people who buy juicers often quit soon after because they’re not easy to clean and then the novelty wears off.

I started making smoothies out of the few items I was able to tolerate like banana, apple sauce and carrots. After this style of eating worked for me, I started to make new ones out of yogurt and cottage cheese. These all seem to be really easy on my stomach because it’s in liquid form.

I plan on adding things like berry V8, spinach, protein power, oatmeal, milk, peanut butter and other fruits and vegetables. Between Angela’s suggestions and Google, there is endless list of smoothie recipes out there including high protein one’s which I need. And what I don’t want to drink right away can put in the fridge for later. So far this smoothie thing is working out very well for me.

Serendipity strikes again...

Just as I was complaining about my compression sleeve... and dragging my feet about ordering a new one... I received not one, not two but THREE new sleeves for free.

I love moments like this. Yay me!

I'll explain it all to you in another post... later.

Shout Out to ~ Variety’s Power of Comedy

Variety’s Power of Comedy event is taking place December 4, 2010 at Club Nokia at LA Live. Variety will bring together a talented group of Hollywood’s funniest comedians who, through their stand-up performances will raise funds for the Noreen Fraser Foundation. NFF is a charitable organization whose mission is to fund ground-breaking women’s cancer research.

Special guests include Russell Brand, Sarah Silverman, Bob Saget and many other comedians.

Humor not only serves to break the ice on a subject like woman’s cancer that can be uncomfortable but also reminds us all of the healing power of laughter.

For more information and to purchase tickets see their website at http://www2.variety.com/power-of-comedy/poc.html#buy

Coffee for D and Tea for Me

Yesterday after D and I ran a few errands, we drove past one of our favorite coffee shops; D asked if I wanted to stop. Never one to pass up an offer to stop for coffee, yes of course. Being that coffee acts as a diuretic, tea was the alternative for me. Also, we passed up on muffins ‘cause I’m really trying hard to eat proper.

Anyways, while D was picking up the drinks, I scoped out a couple of chairs right next to the fireplace … real fire, fake wood. Oh well it still felt warm and cozy. That thing kicked out so much heat that we both took our coats off. The outside temperature these days is around -15°C 5 °F … brrr brr. The funny part was that my tea was on the hot side, too hot for these lips. D put my cup next to the window and it cooled down in no time flat.

We talked and nursed our cups for a good 45 mins and then left for home.

Digestive Issues Continue

After being diarrheic for a few days, I realized we didn’t have the proper foods in the house to help minimize the effects. So D suggested looking on the net and making a list of foods to eat for constipation and diarrhea. I came up with three lists to manage things a bit better:

• foods to eat when diarrheic
• foods to avoid when diarrheic
• foods to eat when constipated

Who knew that if you are diarrheic you shouldn’t eat peas but eat carrots instead. So we went shopping and filled in the gaps in the pantry with things like white rice, soda crackers, white noodles and white bagels … all bland foods for managing the trots. We also picked up PowerAde to help replenish lost electrolytes and topped the list off with Imodium.

One thing I am doing right is to eat smaller portions and see how my stomach likes it and go from there. Something I am not doing right is shying away from fluids because I’m having trouble holding water.

The good news is that there were no cramps last night so something’s starting to work.

I Have New Glasses

I’d been thinking about getting a new pair of glasses just before I was diagnosed with mets in 2008. For one reason or another I’ve put off having my eyes examined. Finally with the frustration I was having with blurry vision from the new chemo and my outdated prescription, I thought I better do something. So a couple of weeks ago I had my eyes examined, picked out a pair of glasses late last week and yesterday they came in.

When the call came, I had to go straight to the mall because I was feeling pretty excited about the look that new glasses would bring to my face. After they were on my nose and adjusted, I stepped into the mall to see the world.

Wow, I found things to be so much brighter and clearer … the Christmas lights and decorations were just so much more sparkly and alive. And the glasses look good on me too. 

During my morning cup of coffee, I could see the time on the mantle clock and my PC screen is really clear. I waited way too long.

Meds for Cramps

I talked to the nurse about the on again and off again cramps I’ve been experiencing over the past three weeks and she thinks its gas. In the past I’ve used Metoclopramide for relief from the effects of other chemos and that usually worked but I’m not having the same success this time with Brivanib.

So after three days with the trots, and then two days with no bm, I took two Senekot S and went to bed. Too late, I woke up around 11 with cramps and couldn’t sleep. So I got up and sat in a comfy chair and wrapped myself in blankets. This helped the cramping a little and I nodded off here and there. At 5 am I had the bm I’d been looking for. After that I found my way back into bed and had a couple of hours sleep before the alarm went off.

I’m going to give Metoclopramide one more try and take it exactly as prescribed, four times a day until I see the nurse in a few weeks. Otherwise, I’ll be looking for something else.

The first of (suspected) many complaints about my compression sleeve

Deep, deep sigh. I friggin' HATE this doggone compression sleeve. I have heard from other lymphedema sufferers that they don't particularly mind wearing their sleeves. I've been a pretty good sport about a lot of things on this journey with breast cancer but this sleeve irks me like nobody's damn business. Ugh.

I broke down and purchased this sleeve at the end of August. I was travelling to Atlanta the first weekend in September and I knew that the flight would cause me all sorts of problems. So, I went online (that's where I live) and found a sleeve that I figured would work.

The pros:

• ordering the sleeve was easy enough.
• the product that I chose seemed to be from a really great company with a heart for women struggling with lymphedema after breast cancer surgery
• I received the sleeve quickly -- it took me forever to make the decision to purchase so I had to expedite shipping in order to receive it before I left on my trip.
• the company who manufactured the product (lymphedivas) packaged everything really nice. Made me quite excited to use the sleeve when I received it.
• the customer service representative at lymphedivas was extra helpful when I needed some help/answers.

The cons:

• I picked the most horrible color imaginable -- its this medicinal looking putrid beige-ish color. Ick.
• the cost was a bit prohibitive to me. I think the sleeve and gauntlet (sleeve for your hand) cost me about $110 or so. 
• the sleeve started unravelling after about 6 weeks of use. I thought that was ridiculous. I will have lymphedema (most likely) for the rest of my life. A $110 habit every couple of months is OUT-FREAKING-RAGEOUS.
• I learned from talking to the customer service rep that sleeves are expected to last about 6 months. That's it. Six whole months. And... they suggest having at least 2 to rotate every other day.

I'm frustrated right now because I know that I won't make it six months with the current sleeve that I have. I must order a new one and soon. But I simply do not want to spend the money to purchase two new sleeves this time only to have to turn around and purchase two more a couple of months down the road.

Seriously? This is for the doggone birds. Its ugly. Its NOT sexy. It takes away from everything you want to wear and look like a normal human being. It causes far more conversation than you're usually in the mood for. Its relatively expensive...

...and I need it. (shrug) So, this is the last of my whining about it. I'll be ordering my new sleeves in a few days. I don't like it. But... that's my life right now.

If you're interested in checking out lymphedivas, this is their site:
http://lymphedivas.com/ 

Honestly, I will likely order from them again -- this time directly from their site.  I used a different site before but after talking to Joel (I think that was his name), I think that ordering directly from them will be the best course of action.  I am generally pleased with my experience. Just frustrated at the trial and error process of everything I have to use on this journey.

All Day at Clinic - How I metabolize the Chemo

Yesterday began a long day at the clinic; my Onc needs to see how I metabolize the chemo drug Brivanib over time. I was told not to take my chemo until I got there because they wanted to take my blood first. A nurse drew six vials through an IV in my wrist then took my bp and temp … both normal or near normal. Then I took my chemo. She repeated this twice over the next six hours.

As the day progressed, the trials nurse came by and I asked how my blood work was. She looked down and said where did your platelets go? My levels are 81 and should be at least 140. Platelets are the little guys that gather at a wound and clot blood. This not a big concern just yet.

We also discussed my high liver function numbers from two weeks ago and these tests show that they continue to go down, meaning the chemo is still working. Some numbers are now down to just being plain old high. Yahoo !!

My next blood work up is in two weeks, for just an hour.

Fighting insomnia with melatonin

Well... I am surely a hard-headed rascal sometimes. I've been struggling with sleep issues for a while. Even before my diagnosis with breast cancer. However, I will definitely say that going through the treatment for my cancer has increased my anxiety and made my insomnia worse. Some months ago, my oncologist expressed displeasure that I was still taking the prescribed sleep aid ambien. (yes, he wrote me the prescription) I suppose that he was concerned that I was becoming dependent on them. I'm not sure that I would call it dependency... but I was thrilled to be able to sleep through the night and an added bonus was no nightmares!

Score! (by the way, PTSD is real -- my nightmares are attributed to post-traumatic stress disorder, sigh)

Anyway... after Dr. S basically told me that he didn't want to write me another prescription I felt that I would be okay with over the counter pills. (shrug) I'd used them in the past with very mixed results but I hoped that I could find a combination that worked for me this time.

Yikes! Let's just say that my body doesn't really care for the OTC sleep aids. Ambien was a god-send. Unisom (and others like it) felt like they came straight from the devil himself. The beauty of Ambien was that I could take it, fall asleep within 30 minutes and wake up feeling fine and refreshed. I would experience a restful night's sleep and that was the goal. OTC's on the other hand, yuck. None of the above. I would regularly over-sleep. It could take as long as 2 hours before the pills kicked in. And... when I did wake up, I would likely be groggy for hours. Really not a good look at all. But I was trying to figure things out... because I knew if I went back to Dr. S to ask for more Ambien, it was going to be a challenging conversation.

Sigh. I'll be honest, I tried a lot of things. Including taking Nyquil -- yep, the cold medicine -- just to get some sleep. Nyquil sleep isn't bad at all and didn't have the same grogginess problem that the generic pills had. However, I got creeped out by the notion of taking more medicine than I needed just to get some sleep.

I tried tea. I tried taking a warm bath. I didn't try warm milk but that's because milk upsets my stomach and that really would have interrupted my sleep. I tried a lot of things that people suggested. (laughs) I'm giggling now but for months I was struggling. And then I gave up on taking anything. Just said eff it ('scuse my language) and decided to just let my body do what it wanted to. It worked because my schedule was different and I could sleep late if I needed to. However, it wasn't a great plan because my body really was having difficulty calming down and getting good rest.

Well, one thing I didn't try that I had heard worked was melatonin. I didn't believe it would work honestly. I don't have a lot of faith in herbal supplements. Most of the time, they just don't do for me what they do for others. (shrug) But finally, a couple of weeks ago I remembered to pick up some melatonin while I was at the drugstore. And I crossed my fingers that I hadn't (once again) added more crap to my "breast cancer graveyard of useless stuff that I'll never use"...

It took a few tries to get to a dosage that worked for me. But, it WORKS. In fact, the melatonin got my body back to a normal sleep pattern and I don't have to take it every day, like I had to take my Ambien every day (though, I looked forward to my Ambien sleep in a major way). I take it every few days or so... when I realize that I'm off in my sleep pattern (like tonight) and then I'm right side up soon enough.

In fact, I'm so sleepy typing this post that I can't even believe that I haven't conked out yet. (laughs)

So, if you're experiencing sleep issues... try some melatonin. I'm a witness that this stuff is the truth. Now, I'm looking for something to help me with these night sweats...

Fluid in my Calves and Ankles

For about a week now, I’ve been having this thick feeling in my calves and ankles. I figure it’s a buildup of fluid also known as edema. It all feels tight … sort of like I’m wearing support hose when I am not and my legs feel stiff like boards.

Yesterday I noticed indentation marks around my ankles left from the elastic socks, tho my shoes still fit fine; I know it’s only a matter of time. When I was on Taxotere in 2008/09, my ankles became so swollen I had to cut the sides of my socks to allow for expansion. And my feet were so full of fluid that 99% of my shoes didn’t fit, they were just too tight. And when it got to that point, I wasn’t very steady on my feet anymore either.

It’s a side effect of Brivanib because when the Onc was first examining me before I was approved for the trials drug four weeks ago; he said … now let’s have a look at your ankles. I knew then it only meant one thing … I will be losing those beautiful thin ankles of mine. Darn it!

Do you Spirit Jump?? Would you?

Okay... so the question "do you spirit jump" is actually not a very fair question because I'm willing to guess that many of you don't know what Spirit Jump is. (smile) Well, that's what I'm here for!

Spirit Jump is a non-profit that does something so wonderful that I can't even read the words spirit jump without smiling. I met these amazing women last year when I was in Las Vegas for Blogworld. They were working a really nice looking booth -- with great swag -- and when I walked up to them I noticed that they were wearing these very cool cancer t-shirts. So, of course, I wanted one. (isn't that why people go to conferences, to gather all sorts of things that they otherwise would not know about?)  During our conversation about Spirit Jump, who they were, what they did and how they made it to Blog World... I found myself totally falling in love with their generous spirit and desire to help other cancer patients.

So... what do they do?

Spirit Jump sends hope and love to people who are suffering from cancer. From their blog:

What Is Spirit Jump


Spirit Jump is a 501(c)(3) grassroots nonprofit organization with a mission to provide hope and comfort to the many men, women and children battling cancer. Spirit Jump accomplishes this by providing uplifting cards and inspirational gifts during this most difficult time.


How You Can Help

Become a Spirit Jumper and send cards or small gifts to those battling cancer. When you become a Spirit Jumper we provide you with the names, stories and pictures of men, women and children battling cancer. If any of these stories touch you let us know and we will provide you with their mailing address. This is a direct way for YOU to help the many in need.


There are no membership fees, minimum requirements, "adoptions" etc... all we ask is that you read the stories and send Spirit Jumps to those who touch you.

How cool is that? So... if you've ever wanted to do something directly to help someone with cancer... consider joining the Spirit Jump team and send a little hope and inspiration to someone struggling with this disease.

Go to the Spirit Jump page and sign up. Its easy... and its free! And you will make a huge difference in someone's life.

Tykerb - A Late Stage Cancer Drug

Tykerb is a late stage breast cancer drug prescribed for HER2-positive metastatic breast cancer patients who have exhausted all other treatment options.

The big problem is that it’s not covered under our Alberta Health Care Insurance Program, leaving the patient to bear the huge monthly cost. In an Edmonton Journal article, Kelly Mah with mets writes… “Both my husband and I have good jobs, but a cost of $3,500-$4,000 a month for the rest of my hopefully long life would be financially crippling. I became so stressed and depressed that I even contemplated forgoing the drug and letting nature take its course.”

About Tykerb from a Cross Cancer Centre Institute medical oncologist and U of A assistant professor Dr. Katia Tonkin says in the Edmonton Sun about Tykerb..."It really is a tremendous new class of drugs in breast cancer for what can be a very difficult group of patients to treat. I think it's very important to have it available," she said, adding it's "appalling" that anyone wanting to take the drug would have to spend tens of thousands of dollars a year.

Taking up the fight is fellow bc blogger Brenda from Brenda’s Breast Cancer Journey .. she has petitioned our politicians demanding that Tykerb be covered under our Alberta Health Care Insurance Program. Way to go girl !!

I hope that sharing this info about Tykerb will give us mets folks access to all treatment options. Treatment options are what keep us alive and kicking. So the next time you hear about the new drug Tykerb, you’ll know something about it.

My Newest Daily Routine

OK, I’ve officially been on Brivanib for three weeks now and I have to say, this last week was much better than the first two … and that’s for sure. And the really good news is that I’ve got all the side effects down to a dull roar.

My daily routine starts off with the alarm going off at 7:30 and I drag myself out of bed. After a few minutes, I take three bp readings, have my coffee and take four Brivanib pills. At 8:30 my cell phone alarm goes off to remind me to take my two bp meds, have some more coffee and some breakfast. After a bit it’s mid to late morning and I go over my blog and post it. Then I lay down for an hour snooze; I feel so refreshed afterwards.

I then get up for good, have a high protein ensure drink for lunch, shower and get dressed. If my energy is up I get out of the house and taking care of any stuff. If I’m not feeling so chipper, I wrap myself up in blankets in front of the TV, grab my laptop and surf.

Around 6: we have supper and D and I watch the evening news. When my cell alarm goes off at 7:30, I take three more bp readings and average them all in a spreadsheet for my Onc. By 9:00 I’m in bed and after a bit of TV, its lights out for the both of us.

I keep up this daily routine with the alarms and all to help me stay regular and on track with my meds. When you’re on chemo, you occasionally forget to do things. My memory is so bad these days … and between that and being so lazy, I’m afraid without some type of scheduling, some days could go by and I might not get anything done at all.

The fever blues...

I am a big ol' crybaby. Its true. I really am. The tears flow for me relatively easily these days. I like to blame it on the cancer experience but I don't know if its completely because of that. I have always been sensitive but I digress. I mention being a crybaby because I cried and wept for hours last night... all because I wasn't feeling well.

For a few hours yesterday/last night, I felt really quite ill. I had the chills, and my body temperature spiked to 102 degrees. I didn't have any other symptoms so I was particularly concerned about where this sudden fever came from and why the chills came with it. The moment felt like a particularly bad day at chemo two years ago.


During that chemo session, I was receiving a new medication and the nurse warned me that if I felt different in any way to let her know. Well, of course, I didn't do that. (laughs) But in my defense, what I thought was "different" was totally different from what the nurses expected.

Last night felt just like that. One moment, just fine. Next moment... shaking, shivering, sweating...scared. When the chills didn't pass immediately, and when the fever didn't go away... I started thinking about what could have been wrong. Was I having an adverse reaction to something? Possibly. But since I hadn't ingested anything in hours, I had no idea what it could have been. Maybe food poisoning? Perhaps... except I had not eaten a thing all day. And on, and on, and on. I questioned everything I did. Everything I ate. Everything I drank. And I could not think of anything that would cause my body to flip out on me so suddenly.
So... then I started wondering if maybe I had caught a bug or a virus. Again, its possible... but not likely. I haven't been around too many people for about a week or so now. I remembered that when I was in treatment, if my temperature ever got higher than 100/101, I was supposed to go immediately to the nearest hospital and check in. I knew it was because my immune system was weak and an infection would slow down the progress of my treatment. However, I'm out of treatment and I realized that I didn't know whether the same rules applied.
My immune system is stronger. I am stronger. But of course, I am a survivor too. So, how does that work? To say that I was freaked out would be a major understatement. I was in tears because I was so frightened. I didn't want to be sick again. I didn't want to go to the hospital. I worried that maybe this was a sign that the cancer was coming back...

I was loony for a few hours. I really was. After an hour or so, I got my head together and started to work on ways to break my fever without taking anything. And after several hours, it broke. By mid-morning today, I was back to normal. The entire episode lasted about 15 hours. But it felt longer...
But honestly, I'm not really back to normal. And that is the problem with this whole situation. Yes, a fever is a little thing for an adult. Most adults keep functioning through fevers and even chills... life goes on, work must get done, etc. But I didn't feel that way. I was terrified. I felt awful and I was scared.

I felt like a looney-bird being so upset over a fever. I mean, really now. A fever puts that much fear into a grown woman's heart? For me... yes. It really did. I am wondering will I always have this sort of reaction to being sick. A couple of months ago I had a cold and it took a long time to run its course. So, after I had been coughing for a week or so... everyone close to me started looking at me strangely. "You need to call your oncologist", "that doesn't sound good... want me to take you to the hospital?" and so on. I thought they were being ridiculous. It was just a cold. But my own reaction to last night's mystery illness reminded me that not so long ago I was a very sick girl. And even though I'm better... the reminders of that time will be with me for awhile.

So, now my question is... will it be this way forever? And what can I do to prevent this in the future?

The Scar Project

According to the website, The SCAR Project is a series of large-scale portraits of young breast cancer survivors shot by fashion photographer David Jay.

The pictures are all of women between the ages 18 and 35. All the ladies are topless and bear the physical scars of breast cancer.

Warning this five minute video has nudity in it.

BP Check at the Clinic

This past Monday I got a call saying the trials nurse wanted to see me Wednesday. My first reaction was oh no … I hope there are no surprises in store. But it turns out all she wanted to do was check my bp. Because I wasn’t seeing her for eight days, she wanted to have a quick peak on what my bp levels were.

So the nurse proceeded to unravel a thigh cuff … I said, don’t you want to use my arm now? Oh I forgot, no more PICC eh? she just grabbed the thigh cuff out of habit. Then I said, I think we will be pleasantly surprised by the numbers and sure enough we were.

My first reading was 133/84 … yahoo! Wow that is really good she said. Prior to coming here, I said to D, I am going to take our home bp monitor with me to compare with the clinics monitor. So she alternated bp monitors, taking three more readings. They were all pretty well in line except, our home monitor appears to be five points higher on the systolic. That’s good to know and I will adjust for that.

Each morning I take three readings and average. This morning my bp is 122/85.

GREAT FUTURES START HERE.

Join the Boys & Girls Clubs of Middlesex County for food, drinks, and fun to celebrate 37 years of caring for kids!

The Boys & Girls Club of Middlesex County serves youth ages 6-18 in

Cambridge, Somerville, Medford and now Everett!

Nov.18, Microsoft New England Research and Development Center 6-9 pm. Our community's youth need your support!

For more info. and tickets, visit the website.

Join me and OYFP at the event!

PICC Infection and BP Update

Thought I’d give you an update on how my old PICC line site is doing and how I’m feeling. First off, my PICC infection is doing better. It’s nowhere near as itchy as it was a few days ago; the redness and puffiness are down too … it all looks a whole lot better.

Next, my bp appears to be nearing normal levels using my drugstore bp monitor. I’ll have to get those verified by the nurse at the clinic tho. I’m thinking the bp medication takes a while to kick in because I’m not doing anything different.

I should be doing some walking now that my liver function has improved but I have lethargy kicking in from the chemo. Still, D says I should come with him and the dog when they go for their after supper walk. Even if we go just part way and turn around, that would be a good start.

New Metastatic Support Group

I am thrilled to say that the Cross Cancer Clinic is now offering a Metastatic Cancer Support Group for women. The focus of the group is to encourage dialogue among women with metastatic cancer. The launch of this program has been such a long time coming for all with mets.

The common ground that brings mets gals together is to help each other deal with the emotional realities when faced with living with mets. Each gal sharing their personal experience on treatment, how they cope and how they find hope.

I attended the very first two sessions and found that they’re so helpful to me. For example, last week we talked a bit about finding hope when hope is hard to find. I shared my experience to the group, sometimes when I’m low on hope, I create my own. I schedule a special event like go out to a dinner theater, maybe a mini vacation like a family visit in another city or just go out and buy a new outfit. 

For me, I find it always helps when you have something to look forward to and focus on. While this support group might not extend your life here, participating will give you a better quality of life while you are here.

So if you are in the Edmonton AB area and living with mets and would like to join, call the main reception number of the Psychosocial and Spiritual Resources Program at (780) 643 - 4303.

Yes, I am happy... you should be too!

A friend of mine just had a baby -- well, his wife just had a baby -- and as we were discussing his new bundle of joy he said something to me that made me pause. He said... "I wasn't sure how to tell you about this..."

Blink. Blink.

A few months ago, a friend of mine found out that she was pregnant and she said to me... "I wasn't sure how to tell you, I didn't know how you would react..."

Blink. Um, ok?

Another friend is getting married and she said..."I wasn't sure how you would feel about this, so it took me some time to tell you..."

BLINK. DAMMIT. BLINK.

(deep sigh) 

I've said it a million times, and I'll say it a million more... my friends and family truly love me. I suppose seeing all my inner thoughts and turmoil in this blog can be confusing and disturbing. I would probably feel the same way if I were reading about me (assuming that I wasn't me). (laughs)

But please... everyone... please hear me when I say this because I really mean it. No matter what... breast cancer, outrageous medical bills, shaky dating life, over-acting hormones, lymphedema, etc. and so on... no matter what is going on in MY life... I have nothing but joy and happiness in my heart for the people that I love.

It does me no good for anyone to be afraid to show me their joy, to show me that they are happy and enjoying life... it just doesn't work that way. At least not for me. Just like everything in your life isn't perfect, everything in mine isn't perfect either. But that doesn't mean that I'm not happy. That I don't wake up everyday with praises and joy for being alive. I am happy. Don't you know that your joy brings me joy? Reminds me how wonderful life is and how much I have to look forward to?

I am a breast cancer survivor and I'm happy about that. I have lymphedema, yes. And while it annoys me deeply, I'm still happy. I receive crazy medical bills every day and many days I just want to scream and cry and throw them out of an open window... but I'm still happy. As long as these things happen to me, I'm alive and able to experience them. I am happy. I really am happy.

I don't want anyone else to feel that they have to temper their joy about their lives because they are worried that I will be unable to handle it. I am not so selfish that I cannot be happy when my friends and my family are happy. There are no limitations on me because there are no limitations on God. Whatever I haven't experienced yet (marriage, kids, love, hitting the lottery for millions) doesn't mean that I won't ever experience it. It just means that its not my season for that right now.

Denying me the pleasure of your joy feels like pity. And I certainly have no use for any of that. So... from now on... BE HAPPY!

I certainly am.

Hair chronicles: oh, my thin, thin hair

When people find out that they have cancer, usually one of the first thoughts they have (after wondering whether they are going to die from the disease) is... "will I lose my hair?"  I was no different. I wondered about hair loss and wondered whether or not I would feel differently about myself if I were bald. What makes all of that interesting is that I have worn my hair pretty short for quite some time now. I thought that losing my hair would not bother me. But it did.



(Nicole, December 2008)

This picture is of me after 4 months of chemotherapy. I am bald as a cue ball. (laughs) I called myself Uncle Fester because, well, that's who I thought I looked like the most during that time. My oncologist assured me that my hair would grow back and would probably return curly and nice. (I'm guessing that was supposed to be curly as opposed to its regular kinky state before chemo)

He was right. My hair did grow back curly. It grew back slowly but it did make a return. For awhile, I stuck with a promise that I made myself that I would not cut my hair if it came back after chemo took it away. And I didn't cut my hair for a long time, close to a year I think. And in that time, my hair grew about 2-3 inches.



(Nicole at a Blogalicious event, Feb 2010)

 Yup. That's it. I struggled and tried to work with the weird curliness that my hair presented post chemo. It was nice, I will admit that. I liked seeing the curls. However, I did not know how to do it. I haven't used a curling iron or a blow dryer in maybe 12 years. So, I had no idea what to do. I was afraid of doing too much to it, afraid that it would break off and I'd be back to bald again. I tried different types of products for naturally curly hair -- preferring to use products designed for african-american hair that wasn't chemically processed. For awhile, it was okay. And then one day I looked at myself in the mirror and realized that I simply did not recognize the girl that I saw.

My fear of not appreciating my new hair had left me wearing my hair in a style that didn't suit me nor make me feel sexy. So, I went to the barbershop and cut it all off. (shrug) My new (old) haircut felt right, and sexy. My swag jumped up to 100 and I was ready for the world.

Imagine my surprise recently when I realized that my hair was thinning. I had my hair cut recently and had it cut a lot lower than I normally wear it. At this length, I could easily see the patterns of my hair growth. I'm balding in a few spots. Right now, its noticeable but not horribly so. I don't think I'm scaring small children or anything yet but I'm not sure how I will handle this going forward. I don't have a problem wearing my hair short. It looks nice to me this way and ultimately, I just want to see myself when I look in a mirror and be able to smile at my reflection.


(Nic riding the subway, October 2010)



I like to look at myself and see a pretty face. And I don't like being distracted by strange hair issues and whatnot. But if my thinning hair doesn't reverse itself soon... I'm going to have to make some interesting choices.

You'll be seeing more posts from me as I set out to find ways to encourage hair growth. I'm not trying to grow long hair... I just don't want to have bald spots. So, things must change. I know that a lot of survivors struggle with dealing with their new hair. I'm no different in this regard. But I'm not sure whether my thinning is due to my Tamoxifen use or something else. Since its been nearly two years since my chemo ended, I don't think I can blame this effect on that. But, anything is possible I suppose.

In the meantime, if you spot me around town... yes, I'm likely to be the chick with the uber-short hair cut, looking stunning and easy going. At least, that is the goal. (smile)

Low Blood Protein

During my Onc visit this past Thursday they said my blood albumin level was lower than it should. Albumin is protein made by the liver. Low albumin could be a sign that my liver is struggling or that I’m low on eating enough high protein foods. Maybe it’s both.

I say it’s more likely that I’m not eating enough protein because when I started the Brivanib, I was having so many issues, a couple being nausea and cramping in my belly. That is when I decided to completely cut out dairy products out of my diet. I’ve found from previous experience that occasionally chemo and dairy don’t mix. I’ve done this before and had low albumin.

Anyways, this past weekend I’ve started to introduce dairy products back into my diet and so far so good. I’m hoping that just a bit of dairy daily and a protein shake, I should be back to normal soon.

Dating chronicles: sigh... it just doesn't get easier

This isn't a rant. Well, not exactly. But it is a notification that I'm just not getting this dating thing right at all. And I'm not alone in this struggle with dating after breast cancer.

I was just reading a breast cancer message board and I got a little sad and a lot angry (again) about being a survivor and being alone. Not to sound too much like a petulant child but... its really not fair.

I am a pretty girl. I am a sexy woman. I am confident in most things and most areas of my life. Even those places where I am slightly confused or less than thrilled... I'm still cool, you know? I have friends who love me. I have family who adores me. And I have a heart as big as the moon and filled with enough love to simply change the structure of a man. I know this.

I KNOW this.

Am I perfect? Well, of course not. To start, I have one real boob and one fake one. I have one nipple. (laughs) I have a zipper like scar rounding my fake breast. I have a scar that stretches from one hip to the other across my lower belly. I also have two tattoos, a few well-positioned moles... and generally speaking, my body is a gorgeous exotic land that I think that a man would love to have and hold every day. If for no other reason than its home to a generous spirit, a loving heart and a sparkling mind. And my imperfections and the way that I embrace them... makes me even more spectacular. At least that's what I think.

But that's just me. (laugh)  How I see myself is certainly not how others see me.

I said all that because when I was reading the topic about dating after breast cancer on the message board, I was (yet again) struck by how many women -- of various ages and races -- are struggling with the collision of body image issues and being open to finding love again. My body image gets better every day and I still struggle with moments of sadness.

One post really made me teary... the writer was an older woman of 61. She was a recent widow and did not have reconstruction when she had her lumpectomy 10 years ago. But now that she was single, she wanted to confront her body image issues and have the reconstruction done. Similarly, another poster was a young woman of 30 and she was absolutely terrified of showing her naked body to anyone. She was going through a cycle of meeting men, going on dates and by the 4th date, she would disappear. Just as things would progress to a more intimate level... she freaked out and just ran off. The "thought" that the man she was dating may one day want to be intimate with her was enough for her to simply disappear from his life and walk away from the chance to be loved.

How deep is that? How deep are these issues of self-esteem and secure body image for survivors?

When you look at yourself in the mirror every day, you cannot help but remember. It is staring back at you as you look at your own reflection. I'm guessing that many survivors probably do as I did for many months... work very hard not to look at their own reflection and try not to focus on the wretched reminders of a hard-fought battle. I perfected the way of looking at only my face and my neck when in the bathroom coming out of the shower or the tub. And would only take in my full image when I was fully clothed.

Sigh. That is not the way to present yourself to the world. If you're afraid of your own reflection, then what you're going to show the world is that fear. And as long as you're afraid, people will be afraid of you.

I do not believe that there is anything wrong with being single. I really don't. Being single gives you opportunities to experience life in a way that can be really fulfilling if you allow it to be. But, I believe that people need people... need to be touched in a loving way regularly. Need to be heard and listened to. And those things can be difficult to have when you're single. So, to go back to my original point... this dating thing is difficult.

The ladies who were struggling with dating post breast cancer treatment were advised to relax, trust their instincts and not to take it personally if a man showed himself to be incapable of dealing with them as survivors. I agree with all of that and still... I find myself wondering each time I date someone and it doesn't quite turn out the way that I'd like, was it the cancer that killed it? Or am I simply unlovable? (yeah, yeah... I know)

I won't go as far as others to say that a man who disappears after learning that you are a breast cancer survivor is no good. I just can't agree with that. But, I will agree that its for the best that he moved on because while you may be like me (feeling sexier everyday in your new body) there are some harsh realities to being a survivor and if he's incapable of dealing, its better to find out early. I think that dating and meeting new people is great. I've had some amazing fun this year the few times that I've opened my heart up and allowed someone in. But (you knew there was a but coming, right)... I am tired. Its starting to feel like I'm reading a map upside down or something. I just don't think I'm going in the right direction at all.

...and then again, maybe I am heading in the right direction. The more I date, the better I become at it. I think. (laughs)

PICC Line Infection

Two weeks ago, I developed this itchy rash just above my PICC line. I put some hand lotion on it and wrapped it with gauze so I wouldn’t scratch it. The redness you see in the pic only lasted a day and disappeared, however I could still feel the rash and the site was still itchy.

Two days later I had a PICC dressing change and everything looked normal. Then at this past Thursday’s PICC dressing the rash was back and it moved closer to the PICC hole. The nurse decided to dress it in such a way that there would be minimal adhesive touching the skin around it, allowing time for it to heal. I would have to come in every second day to repeat this special dressing change. So yesterday, I went in and when she took the wraps off, it didn’t look good… to the point that it was just starting to get infected around the PICC hole. It was itchy, it was red and it was warm to the touch.

She asked me what the PICC line is used for. I told her we use it for blood draws because of my damaged veins … not for chemo. We then weighed the options; she thought that if she pulled the PICC out now, it will likely heal on its own. If we wait and see, it will get worse and I would need antibiotics. My Brivanib chemo and antibiotics just don’t mix … together they’re too much for the liver to handle. I sure don’t need a full blown infection and stop my chemo, right when it started to work.

Before I left, the nurse used a black marker to outline the infected area. She said if the redness goes further, I should get back to her asap. So once again I am PICC less and it feels great. Here’s that pic.

A local church celebrates cancer survivors...

The following article is about a church that a friend of mine attends in Washington, DC. The congregation (I believe) is predominately black and because of the high incidences of cancer within the black community, the church decided to hold a service dedicated wholly to cancer survivors. Another friend of mine is mentioned in the article... she shared her experiences as a caregiver cancer survivor.

(This article was first published in The Washington Informer newspaper)
Cancer Survivors Celebrate at Campbell A.M.E. Church

-------------------------
Cancer Survivors Celebrate at Campbell A.M.E. Church

By Kyra O. Davenport - WI Contributing Writer
Thursday, 04 November 2010 19:19

The rate of breast cancer is higher in Caucasian women than African-American women; however Black women continue to have higher mortality rates.

A Southeast church hosted a program recently to celebrate survivors of a disease that disproportionately affects the Black community. Campbell African Methodist Episcopal Church hosted their first Cancer Awareness service on Sun., Oct. 31 for more than 60 congregants and members of the community.

The services included various speakers, poetry readings and a special ceremony designed to uplift the spirits of the newly diagnosed and celebrate those who have gone toe-to-toe with cancer and lived to tell the story.

“Breast cancer came to me as a surprise. No one in my family ever had cancer; I am truly blessed to be a survivor,” said Juanita Wills, a spry senior and a member of Campbell A.M.E. Church.

The rate of breast cancer is higher in Caucasian women than African-American women; however Black women continue to bear the brunt in terms of mortality rates, according to a report published in The Oncologist, a monthly journal that tracks disease management.

Diane Dawson made it a point to attend the Cancer Awareness service. Like Wills, she also had a story to share with others.

“I am a survivor. [I] support my family members and [I] hope that the community will be aware of cancer and those affected by it,” Dawson, 67 said.

The three-hour service got underway with Pastor Adrien N. Ngudiankama of Salem Gospel Ministries located in Silver Spring, Md. The speaker, an American Cancer Society representative, presented the facts to the congregation in the church’s sanctuary. He reiterated one point on numerous occasions.

“Prevention is better than the cure,” Ngudiankama said.

“Furthermore, there’s a gap between African Americans and the knowledge of the disease. African Americans [are] less likely to see doctors and seek education [about] cancer.”

Ngudiankama said that although cancer isn’t a death sentence, it’s best to try and head it off at the pass.

He shared a few important facts with the audience about the second leading cause of death in America.

Age plays a major role, he said. The older a person becomes -- their risk for the disease increases.

He also cited family history – individuals who may be predisposed or have a history of the disease in their families, run a higher risk of being diagnosed with the disease. The pastor also discussed lifestyle – which includes diet and exercise -- two major factors that can put individuals at-risk.

Throughout the service, survivors approached the podium to share their stories. However, one individual captured the attention of the crowd.

“I am a survivor,” said Teri Ghaffaar to rousing applause from the crowd. “Wait a minute. I don’t have cancer. I am a caregiver survivor. Caregivers get stressed. As a caregiver you must be a strong advocate.

A caregiver must be educated so that we [can] educate patients. We must endure for the patient and ourselves,” Ghaffaar, 51 said.

“I want to see not only the American Cancer Society but all cancer related organizations get more involved with caregivers because if I’m stressed, how can I help the patients,” she said.

The Reverend Daryl K. Kearney, the pastor of Campbell A.M.E. Church, said that he had one goal in mind once he decided to devote his entire Sunday service to this important health care topic.

“My overall aim was to inform the community [about] cancer, which is prevalent in the community and our families, and to speak truth to power,” he said.

“I also wanted to give hope and inspiration to our survivors, and lastly, I wanted us to put our money where our mouth is by sowing a seed to the American Cancer Society for future research.”

Cancer survivors received pins during the service to celebrate their victory over the insidious disease. The Rev. Kearney announced survivors’ names and the types of cancers that they had defeated. Some among the crowd had even beaten two different forms of cancer.

The emotional pinning ceremony caused many seated in the pews to weep, clap their hands and praise God, while Hezekiah Walker’s song, “I Need You to Survive” resonated throughout the church.

James Young, 68, and a member of Campbell A.M.E. Church, spoke candidly about his journey on Sunday. He’s a survivor.

“I still have another chance at life and I’m going to extend my joy to others,” he said with a smile.